Late Night Infomercials & False Religion

I was a mess last night.  I’m coming down with a cold so my neck feels like it is strained, I’ve got that tickle floating around the back of my throat, and a nostril will become congested for awhile.  And this happened at 3:30 am.  I knew it was hopeless to try and sleep for awhile, I needed some time for Vicks Vapo-Rub & Cold-eeze to work their magic.  Since I don’t currently have a novel going… it was late night TV.

Seriously, what a stinking wasteland.  I couldn’t get over the fact that the Disney Channel actually has programming at 4 am.  I guess it’s for the kids in Europe who supposedly hate us so much.  I spent lots of time surfing, and trying to avoid the nearly ubiquitous Girls Gone Wild seducomercials (on at least 2 channels).  Here is what I found (in addition to 2/3 of the Big 3 Networks having shows on AIDS):

Jim (I Don’t Know Which Time I was Wrong) Baker is up to more stupidity.  He was hawking crystal crosses for $60.  Not a word about Jesus, just jabbering on about how pretty and special these things are and attempting to distract you from the HUGE growth on his left cheek.  Does this guy not get it?  Apparently not.  He is a sure sign that the Whore of Babylon is alive and well in America- turning Christianity into a money-maker, promising you the American Dream (aka heaven on earth) and leading tons of old ladies astray (hey, isn’t there something in the pastoral epistles about such stuff).

I discovered The Master Prophet, Bishop Jordan.  This charming man was offering a free written prophecy for you if you called in.  It would be your personal word from the Lord to help you through your circumstances (hey, isn’t that what 2 Timothy 3:16 says the Word of God is for?).  Mind you, this was TAPED, and he’s pulling the usual televangelist “I’m getting something about a man named Charlie.  I’m getting something about someone involved in a real estate transaction.”  Another huckster trying to tickle itching ears (and make a small, or large, fortune).  Supposedly he is part of the Prophetic Order of Mar Elijah, whatever that is.   Apparently his eyes burn with these prophecies (must be a suffering servant).   His wife is a prophetess, of course (could it be any other way… these guys all make it a family business to control everything).  And his website hawks his typically titled book- The Laws of Thinking.

The rest were about enhancement….  first was the Ab Enhancement, the AbDoer.  With this simple exercise machine big fat women suddenly become babes.  Again the promise of easy satisfaction.

Then was the “male enhancement” infomercial complete with interviews with giggling couples admitting that “bigger is better” and they have seen a “huge difference” since taking the pill.  Great, a pill that makes your johnson balloon up.  The host & hostess looked like they were from the porn industry and figured this was a better way to make gobs of cash.

Lastly, was the Japanese Mind Enhancer.  Yes, a mind enhancer.  Just watch the videos and your memory will expand exponentially.  Even the least of us can become like Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking.

The common theme in all of this is really pathetic- all gain with no cross.  It is the lie that Satan has been trying to sell us (and most of us buy) for millenia.  Thankfully, my nostril cleared up and I went to bed before I could find the credit card in the dark.