I started working on a “Father’s Day” message for a special event this coming Saturday. So I dug out How Children Raise Parents by Dan Allender. To my surprise I had not finished the book when I used it for a sermon on Ephesians 6 back in 2005. I had some reading to do.
I found a few things. First, he had a chapter on marriage that I wish I had read before my sermons on Genesis 2-3. Oh, well. Even better, he connected parenting with the creation mandate to subdue, rule and fill the earth. One of those lightbulbs went on for me. I feel really stupid actually.
In Genesis 1-2 we discover that we’ve been given a mandate to subdue, rule and fill the earth. God modeled this for us in Genesis 1. From him we learn what our activity is to be like. Raising children is how we fill the earth in order to subdue and rule it. Marriage, as a result, is not some romantic day dream but part of this creation mandate (a little romance makes it sweeter, though).
What I’d failed to connect is that part of parenting is raising your kids to “subdue, rule and fill”.
“If strength and tenderness, creativity and relationship, comprise our calling, then bearing the image of God must reveal the core directives for parenting. We are wired to call our children to subdue and rule, to fill and multiply.”
This takes us far beyond raising our kids to be “good citizens”. It means we teach them to evaluate and take on risk, rather than put them in protective bubbles. Nothing great (humanly speaking) is accomplished without risk and sacrifice. When we are overly protective, we keep them from learning how to subdue and rule.
Please don’t take this as “we must push kids to achieve”. I have had to face the hard reality that my kids are probably not inclined toward team sports. It literally breaks my heart (not only is Mark Driscoll a more accomplished pastor and author than I am, his kids excel athletically!). I’ve been dealing with broken dreams lately, which this book is stirring up as well. Kids do need to be pushed to learn some things. But pushing the idol of success on them is not godly parenting. It actually keeps them from the calling to fill since relationships, essential to filling the earth, are sacrificed at the altar of success.
My daughter started to ride her bike w/out training wheels long before I was comfortable with the idea. She tends to be dramatic, and I had visions of numerous injuries and band aids to sooth her. But that really didn’t happen. My inclination toward her “safety” would have robbed her of learning to ride without training wheels. She experiences pure joy on that bike. And that brings me great joy (think Chariots of Fire, folks). I would have instilled FEAR into her instead of boldness for the King. There is enough fear in her (as experienced in her swimming lessons, but we’re gently pushing her to expand the boundaries).
Godly parenting is about shaping our kids into the image of God. And that goes beyond being obedient (though is not less than that). He is one who subdues and rules, so they must engage in this as well. It won’t happen automatically after they graduate from college. It is something that begins when they are young. In fact, one of the first things they must learn to subdue it their own evil desires. But that’s for another day. How I connect this book with Hebrews 12 is for another day too.
Cavman Considers 
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