Considering Addictions

Been looking at addictions lately.  As Calvin says, the human heart is a factory of idols.  We are a mass of addictions.  Some of our additions seem innocuous, like caffeine.  Others only seem troublesome when they are out of control- like when your shoe collection rivals Imelda Marcos (or you’re always broke because you feed that addiction.

Oddly enough, some addictions are becoming “mainstream”.  I am disheartened to see the popularity of pornography.  Looking at pornography used to be a shameful thing: dark, seedy theaters, brown covered magazines.  It was something you did alone, except for bachelor parties.  After all, no one looks at porn just to look at porn as if it is a work of art.  You look at it to stimulate and facilitate sexual release (either alone or with a partner).

But today porn is viewed differently.  It is apparently for women too.  There are porn parties- with both sexes watching.  I just can’t comprehend that.  Even as a young, sex-crazed heathen I couldn’t conceive of such a thing.  But I was “unliberated”, shackled by the smothering guilt of a Roman Catholic upbringing.  [Actually, I think my conscience was still functioning- barely- to restrain some sin in my life.]

Porn is also far more readily available.  When I was a kid there were magazines, and as a teen the beginning of the porn videos.  Yes, the porn industry has always been on the cutting edge of technology.  Now you can see just about anything on the internet- yes, ANYTHING.  You can even see it on your smart phone.  It virtually surrounds us.

As a result of the increase in sexual addiction, there is no lack of resources to address addiction in general and sexual addiction in particular.  It is nearly impossible to keep up with all the different books and resources.  But no pastor or church leader can use that as a reason to not keep something handy.  Estimates are that 1/4 of our adult men have been sexually abused.  Some estimates are that 40% of them have a problem with pornography.  Many hotels have their highest rates of PPV porn when there is a Christian conference in town.  Christian men are not immune to the siren call of easy gratification.

Here are some resources I’ve found helpful:

• Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave by Edward Welch.  His approach is that additions are a worship disorder.  There is much truth there (but there are other elements at play as well).  There is a workbook called Crossroads that is available (leader’s guide).
• Undefiled: Redemption from Sexual Sin, Restoration for Broken Relationships by Harry Schaumburg.  This is his latest book, a sequel of sorts to his book False Intimacy.  FI includes one of the few chapters addressing the spouse and their particular struggles in this.
• The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Sexual Abuse by Dan Allender.  Many (most) of those who were abused sexually end up struggling with sexual addiction.  He explores that more fully in the Wounded Heart Workbook.  This is some very good material.
• Breaking Free: Understanding Sexual Addiction & the Healing Power of Jesus by Russell Willingham.  A little different, focusing on how sexual abuse & addiction distort the soul, and how we need to return to the Father to help us mature.
• Addiction and Grace by Gerald May.  May talks about the wilderness as the place for healing the addicted soul.    He makes some very good points.
• A Brief Theology of Desire by Tim Challies.  He briefly addresses the purposes of our God-given sexual desire, and how it is an opportunity for single people to develop self-control.

I didn’t find Faithful & True: Sexual Integrity in a Fallen World by Mark Laaser to be the most helpful book.  He focuses (exclusively?) on the disease aspect.  I think the biology follows the idolatry.  It is real, but not the root.  He has a small cottage industry on the subject you can look into if interested.

Resources I Think May be Helpful (newer stuff!)

• Sexual Detox: A Guide for the Single Guy by Tim Challies.  This is an e-book he put together from a series of blog posts on the subject.
• Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free by Tim Chester.  Tim is a church planter in England who co-authored the very good Total Church.
• Porn Again: a Frank Discussion of Pornography and Masturbation Christian by Mark Driscoll.  Can he be anything but frank?  He doesn’t usually pull punches, so this may knock sense into even the hardest heart (subtle books don’t do that, which is why Mark does well in Seattle).