Considering David Wayne

One of my friends is dying. We’ve known this since shortly after he was diagnosed with cancer more than 5 years ago. He has lived beyond the average life span for a person whose cancer had spread so far. I started thinking about David’s impact in my life. Sometimes we don’t realize the impact of one person on our lives.

I met David Wayne after he transferred to RTS Orlando to finish his MDiv. I had graduated but was still working in the bookstore until the end of the summer. David would come in to browse and buy. He would talk with me and the other guys like Keith Mathison when he was in the store.

I wouldn’t see David for another 6 years. I was living in Winter Haven and serving a small ARP church as their pastor. One of the PCA churches in town was without a pastor. Spring was difficult for me. My girlfriend had unceremoniously dumped me and one of my good friends was leaving the area to serve as the pastor of an ARP church in the Carolinas (the heart of the ARP). I felt lost and lonely. But God would provide.

I heard the PCA church called a new pastor, and his name was David Wayne. I was excited they called a man I knew, although only casually. I was going to be out of town for his installation so I called the office to leave a message congratulating him and that I hoped to see him soon.

When we finally talked it took some time for him to remember who I was. But we were two men called to serve as solo pastors in a place we were still figuring out. So we began to spend more time together. It was a time of healing for me that none of us realized.

Since we didn’t have an evening service, I started to attend their evening service. I would often head over to the Wayne home to enjoy some fellowship and hospitality when it was over. David and Lynette are two of the kindest, most welcoming people you’ll ever meet. Their two boys loved to destroy me on Madden football. Only once did they allow me to return the favor with an old fashioned hockey game, the one with the rods. Somewhere in the mix his daughter would be running around with her long red hair. We had lots of fun together. David’s memorable laugh often filling the home.

Our dogs had fun too. They would literally have peeing contests. I would sometimes bring Huck over. Being a boy he’d go to every spot Murphy had peed on and pee. Then Murphy would come right behind him and pee on it again. They’d just follow each other around the yard like that, even when they couldn’t pee anymore.

The best time was on Christmas Eve. The two of us, Huck and I, went over for dinner. Lynette’s twin sister Suzette was there too. Huck saw the Christmas tree and decided it needed to be watered. So he trotted over a bunch of presents getting as close as he could and lifted his leg before I could stop him. Someone’s present got wet, but we all had a terrific laugh.

It was because of David and those evening services that I got to know organist extraordinaire Mike Smith and his wife Amy. When I was introduced to my wife by Roel and Amy Ubungen (who used to attend the PCA church and now attended the ARP church), it turned out she was also old friends with the Smiths. We still get together with the Smiths and their kids when we are on the east coast.

Our two churches had a difficult history. The church I served was a splant of the church he served (there was lots of that in Winter Haven). Together we worked to restore that relationship. We worked together for VBS. The first year was a Veggie Tales VBS. He played the pastor (the straight man) to my role as the incompetent mayor of Bumblyburg. We left some room for improvisation, and the kids loved it. For years some kids would call me Mr. Mayor. Mike Smith, of course, would provide the music. The next year we did skits that included Lynette and the kids as we went on “wilderness adventures.” I was Crash Yahoo and was supposed to fall off a skateboard during one skit. Things didn’t go as planned as I fell backward, injuring my back. It has never been the same.

Even after David left Winter Haven, our churches continued their warmer relationship with joint services. This all started with my friendship with David and our common vision.

In 2001 David asked me to house his summer youth intern, a guy named Morgan Lusk. Since I was still single, and could use the cash, I agreed. Morgan and I became friends over that summer. He would live with CavWife and me two more times after he moved to Winter Haven to do youth work at the church after David left. I would officiate his wedding ceremony. Morgan is a youth pastor in TN, in large part because of David Wayne’s ministry and friendship.

My counseling degree came from a more integrationist model. While he was in Winter Haven David challenged me, in a gentle way, about that. I started to read books from CCEF. They were not exactly as I thought they were and I’ve benefited greatly from reading many of them.

When I (finally) got married and she moved down to FL, they welcomed her. But our time together in Winter Haven was too short. Earlier he and I decided to begin praying together as we faced the challenges of ministry together. We invited the other PCA pastor to join us. It wasn’t long before both men left Winter Haven for new places of service to the Church. David and the family moved to the Baltimore area.

I’ve learned that keeping in touch with ministry friends is hard. We get immersed in our churches and communities. But that next Christmas I was flying to Albany to join CavWife and her family for the holidays. I stayed behind for the Christmas Eve service and flew up Christmas Day, into a snowstorm. After circling the airport for a long time they closed the airport. I would be spending the night in Baltimore. I called David. They lived only a few miles from the airport so he picked me up at my hotel. This was most excellent because nearly all the restaurants were closed and I was famished. We spent another Christmas together, catching up while I ate their leftovers. It was a great, unexpected surprise for all of us. It was not a surprise that their door and fridge were open to me.

It was David who encouraged me to blog. He was known as the Jollyblogger. So, it is his “fault” that you are reading this on a blog. The sins I’ve committed are all mine, but many of the blessings are a result of David. By blogging I’ve encountered many people and some have become friends: more friends I wouldn’t have without David.

I didn’t keep in touch as much as I liked. Not knowing how long he would be with us though, I decided to visit. I timed my visit with the Red Sox final series of the season against the Orioles. This was the year of the infamous ’11 collapse. David wasn’t much of a baseball fan, but it had grown on him in the intervening years (his real sports love was Gator football, but he and Morgan got past that). The chemo had taken its toll, but he was a gracious host as I spent a few nights on the couch in the family room. We went to Annapolis early in the afternoon, walking and talking. I asked him about his reflections on marriage and parenting, things he might have done differently. It was a very good conversation as we strolled the grounds. After he took a nap (and I read) we went to the game with the now grown boys. It would be the only game in the series the Red Sox won. But it was better because I was with old friends. The game was more amusing thanks to the tradition of streakers at the park.

In the last few years one constant is his appreciation for Lynette. He’d seen other terminally ill men abandoned. She has stayed by him, cared for him and loved him well. He has been grateful for God’s grace to him through Lynette, and God’s grace to her and the kids. While life was hard, he has not been bitter. This is where you see the difference faith in Christ makes.

Blogging can help you think through things better, like how a friend really touched your life. God used David to enrich many lives, not just mine. Through him I’ve made many great friendships and been encouraged in my faith and pursuit of godliness. Can you really ask for more in a friendship?

 “God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform ….

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; the clouds ye so much dread are big with mercy and shall break, in mercy upon your head.” William Cowper