Considering the Kids’ Antics

With  CavWife and I out of town this past weekend the kids stayed with some friends.  I haven’t written too much about the kids lately.  Our friend’s updates were funny, so I thought I’d make them available.

Ch. 1: played on floor from 8-9:30.  LAID on floor while CavKids PLAYED on floor.

Ch. 2: SNACK–brought up by CavGirl (surprised?)  Townhouse crackers/bananas/grapes and a few Easter M&M’s from the bottom of Karl’s Easter basket.

Ch.3: SWAM from 10-11:30.  Neither went in farther than their knees (1st pool step).  But we had fun with Grey’s truck and sand bucket.  They poured water all over me!  When they were peeling off their suits I suggested they go potty in the grass since CavSon wasn’t keen on my toilet before we swam.  Both had success!

Ch. 4: LUNCH at………….McDonald’s!!  11:45 – 12:30.  They were completely clueless about the restaurant and the food.  I was almost embarassed!  I got them both Happy Meals thinking they would each get a toy—well….it was a CD of kids songs.  Except when we played it in the car on the way home it was RAP and HIP-HOP!  Sung BY kids but definitely not “Kid Music!”  CavGirl gobbled all SIX chicken nuggets and CavSon ate 3 of his 4 but ALL of his french fries!  He was completely fascinated with the Ronald McDonald statue outside on the bench, so after we ate we went out there.  CavGirl crawled right up into his lap but CavSon kept shaking his head “no!”  I bet next time you pass McD’s she will mention something about the trip.

Ch. 5: came home and played babies with Meg and Amber til nap.

Ch. 6: NAP at 1:15.  He went potty on the toilet, and he did use the stool a bit.  She was totally into going upstairs with all her JUNK to take her nap; so was CavSon til I actually left Karl’s room–then he cried, but not for long.  She asked for some books and as of 1:45, I don’t hear any crying or singing…..

Ch. 7: Post-Nap:  I think I filled you in on most of this.  The kids played with Amber and Meg on the tire swing while I fixed dinner.  We ate and I drove the girls to Lakeland.  Came home and took baths in the BIG bathtub.  They loved it.

Ch. 8:  8:15: BEDTIME!  We all read a book then CavSon went down, then I read 1 more to CavGirl and she went right down.  I woke up about 7:45 and was listening for “rumblings” but heard nothing–I couldn’t believe this was actually true.  When I went upstairs, meg had her on the bathroom sink and was looking at her chin.  Well…..apparently she fell out of bed in the middle of the night and hit the bottom of her chin on the little rocking chair next to the guest bed!  I didn’t hear a thing!!!  She said she didn’t cry–just crawled back into bed.  But her bumpy blanket looked like a CRIME SCENE this morning, as did her PJ’s.  (another load of wash…)  She has a small slit on the bottom of her chin.  A doctor might have called for a stitch, but…too late!  So Meg was cleaning it and putting a band-aid on it.  She wasn’t upset at all!!  Can you believe it??

Ch. 9:  HOT BREAKFAST of French Toast and yogurt.  MEG thoroughly enjoyed it.  She left at 9:00 for Sunday School and we didn’t!  Instead, we watched…..”Lady and the Tramp” which the kids LOVED.  This gave me time to get ready for church.  (A guy from Riverview preached…where is that?  He said near Brandon?  He mentioned that they adopted both their girls, and CavGirl made friends with Rachael in C.Church.).  He came out of the nursery after church with a Matchbox Service Station/garage which I was told was a birthday present from the nursery worker!  He was SO excited.  The C.C. lady told me the nursery worker (don’t know any names here!) tried to bring him to C.C. since he is 3 now (I totally forgot!) but he would have NOTHING to do with it!  So they took him back to the nursery.

Ch. 10: LUNCH–grilled cheese and tomato soup and fruit.  CavGirl did not care for her soup and she told me so, but quickly added that she could still have a snack, right?!!  :  )  They watched the last 15 minutes of the movie and down for nap.  This time I remembered his diaper!

Ch. 11:  NAP–I slept great….don’t know about CavGirl as she was up and singing at 4:00 when I went up.  He had just woken up and was crying a bit.  CavGirl wanted to swim again, so as she was going potty b-4 putting her suit on, he tried to jump up on the toilet as well.  He had just peed in his diaper so I couldn’t imagine why he would want to try again, but I made him wait til she was done.  POOP!!!  This would have been a dandy time to be able to talk…but I’m glad he did it w/o being asked.  We were out in the pool when Cavnan called, but Karl gave me the message.  CavSon was not as thrilled about going in this time—it was all I could do to get him to stand on the first step.  Oh well.

Ch. 12:  PIZZA for dinner:  I just ordered Dominos.  CavGirl suggested that we go somewhere “special” for supper like we did for lunch yesterday so we compromised on pizza.  She asked it if was the kind that the MAN brings!!

There you have it … a few days in the life of the kids.

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Considering the Doghouse

Here is a very creative, lengthy commercial.  Enjoy- and don’t take it too seriously guys.

While watching it with CavWife, I commented “you’d be excited about that gift.”  Her response, “Looks like a Dyson!”  Some women are practical, but some want the big romance gift.  Guys, know your wives.  But, they can surprise you.  Prior to becoming the future-CavWife, she wore only simple earrings and little/no make-up.  I was surprised at how important it was for her to get the “perfect ring.”  I didn’t end up in the doghouse.

The art of gift giving is knowing the person and keeping an eye out for what they would like- not what you’d like to give them.  We do this with our kids, not just our spouses.  We tap into that forgotten child within, and get what we enjoyed or missed out on as a child.  Sometimes our kids love it, and sometimes we disappoint them.

The other issue here is how easily we can be offended.  It’s a commercial- it is meant to be memorable.  This is.  It pokes fun at both men and women.  Really, guys- she sends him away for who knows how long.  Sounds petty and vindictive to me.  But it is all just a joke.  Lighten up, and enjoy.

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Considering John Crowder

I hesitate to put this up.  I’m torn for 2 reasons.

1. This is very funny.

2. This is intensely sad.

In isolation, it is funny.  But since this seriously misrepresents Christianity, it is intensely sad.  Here’s some of the chicanery going on in the name of Jesus (maybe, might just be money).  This is proof positive of the power of indwelling sin- that people would so easily fall for such a deception.  It is well-neigh blasphemous to speak of God and the Spirit in some of these ways.

He does have one intense beard going for him.

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Considering My Flight Home

I was off to the airport a bit early this morning thanks to the 5 inches (and counting) of snow that fell overnight and into the morning.  I had a 12:30 flight home.  The snow made slow going, which was not helped by the driver’s incessent need to look around and see damage from last week’s ice storm.  He slowed down even more.  A few times we were caught behind snow plows or caught in an accident slowdown.  So, the time before my flight decreased as my anxiety increased.

Shortly after 11 we pulled into the Albany airport.  There was no curbside check-in so I had to endure the line inside.  Anxiety level (sinfully) rising.  After checking my bag, I went up the escalator to security.  I still needed to go to the bathroom (I had a cup of tea earlier) and grab some lunch before hopping on the plane.  Predictably (?) the usually quiet Albany airport had a fairly lengthy line that was moving sslloowwllyy.  Finally 2 more TSA employees showed up to get it moving faster.  Yes!  The x-ray machine broke.  No!!  But I still got through with plenty of time to take care of my ‘errands’  before heading to the gate.

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Considering Mas

Sounds like the forces of agnosticism and atheism are growing here in America (and elsewhere) to make Christmas a non-Christian event.

What would happen if you took the Christ out of Christmas?  You’d have Mas, which in Spanish means “more”, which is exactly what Roberto Duran didn’t want when he uttered “no mas”.

This would be exactly what Christmas has become- an exercise in consumption and greed.  Mas would just be about keeping the economy going by increasing spending, giving gifts to our kids, loved ones and friends.  Drop the tree, if you want, and sing songs about Santa or the holidays, and you’ve pretty much got the idea.  Mas is about more, more, more.  The inoffensive excuse to spend money.  Who could argue with that?

[okay, aside from the obvious- Jesus and those who love Him, which means they are turning their backs on greed among other things.]

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Considering an Interesting Thought

Never trust those early morning thoughts, but I had one this morning.  I wonder how many of the churches that rejected my application are still searching for a pastor.

So, I characterized them, as best I could, according to how long they have been without a pastor.

1 year or less: 6

1-2 years: 4

2+ years: 1

So, 5 churches think it’s better to not have a pastor than to have me (and the other 50 applicants) as their pastor.  Interesting.

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Considering Our Flight to NY

Everything seemed to get off to a good start.  We went to bed at a reasonable hour, mostly packed and oatmeal soaking for a quick breakfast for the kids.  We’d be getting them up a little early, not way before the crack of dawn like on other trips, to get on the road to the airport by 7:30.  This would give up plenty of time to get to OIA in time for our 10:05 flight to Albany.  But you know what they say about the “best laid plans of mice and men.”

It broke down near the end of my shower.  CavWife went to get the kids up.  CavBoy had peed so much it soaked through his diaper, PJs (which we were hoping to have him wear on the flight) and into his sheets.  So CavWife was involved with stripping his bed and sent him into a still-dripping dad to strip him down and put him on the potty.

This was the morning that he decided he had to poop first thing.  And it took time as the minutes quickly went by.  Suddenly I heard CavGirl screaming from the kitchen.  To help avoid illness being passed around the plane, we gave the kids Airborne.  CavWife mistakenly put it in CavGirl’s water bottle.  So, it fizzed away building up pressure until CavGirl opened it.  It erupted, spraying  our very dramatic/traumatic daughter.  So much for not having to change her clothes…

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Considering Absurd Things

When you spend too much time on rollercoasters, you start thinking in strange ways.  I ran across these things this morning- pondering the absurdity and irony.

Three prosperity churches are filing for bankruptcy and/or selling their facilities.

• Church Without Walls International in Tampa is facing foreclosure.  Since the White’s divorce things have gone south of the border financially.
• Bishop Thomas Weeks II was removed from the Global Destiny Ministries property, owing more than $500k in back rent.  How do you owe half a million dollars in rent???  This transpired in the midst of a service.  Priceless.  He also divorced his popular “preacher wife” Juanita Bynum.
• Cathedral at Chapel Hill, founded by the oft accused of adultery Bishop Earl Paulk, has put its unique gothic building up for sale.  With the numerous sex scandals, and his son’s further departure from orthodox Christianity (3 cheers for universalism) have emptied the congregation.  They have fallen into debt, and the building into disrepair.

Christian online dating service, eHarmony, is being forced to launch a site for homosexuals.  The New Jersey Civil Rights division brought action against them based on a complaint.  I’m not sure what I’d do if I were Neil Clark Warren.  I might just say – too bad, how sad- and close up shop since it isn’t worth the headache, or the guilt of facilitating sin.

In the “it doesn’t fit, but hey” catagory- A 13 year-old boy was arrested for persistently passing gas in school in Stuart, FL.  Was that a 911 call?  Will we be hearing that absurd call on the TV?  Actually, he also turned off other students’ computers.  The “school resource officer” arrested the scofflaw.

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Considering Islands of Adventure

A friend provided 2 comp tix for Universal Studies.  I had never been to Islands of Adventure, and really wanted to spend a day on the rollercoasters.  So my friend Danny and I headed north today to enjoy said rollercoasters.  It was a perfect day- 60’s and sunny with little to no wind.  There were not many people either.  We usually waited for less than 15 minutes, at times not waiting at all.

We started on the Incredible Hulk Coaster.  I was not sure what to expect, so when the car shot to about 40 MPH in 2 seconds while ascending the hill I was surprised enough to shout an explicative.  Hulk was a blast, with top speeds of 67 MPH and 7 inversions.  The 2nd time we were in the first row.  As we shot up that hill and I saw the quick inversion I had to close my eyes.  Too much for me.  We hit Hulk 4 times.

Dueling Dragons was a blast was well.  We started on Ice, and sat in the front row.  That was intense!  We immediately went on Fire.  We decided we liked Ice a little better since you approach the castle wall.  The Dragons go as high as 125 feet and 55 MPH.  There are several inversions, and a number of rolls as the dragons pass withing 18 inches of each other 3 times.  We rode Dueling Dragons 4 times.  So, we figure we were probably spun upside down about 40 times today.  And our voices were hoarse from screaming.  We routinely stopped to see the pictures.  Danny’s arms were routinely in the air and his mouth wide open in mid-yell.  My hands were routinely gripping the harness tightly and I was smiling.

In addition, we rode Spider-Man twice.  The second time was because 1) we rode Popeye & Bluto’s Bilge-Rat Barges and got utterly soaked and 2) the temperature had quickly dropped.  We wanted to dry off & warm up from the flames during Spider-Man.  As a result, we rode in the front.  The 3-D effects were cool.  Despite our best efforts to dry off, our pants were still largely wet when we arrived home.  A hot shower was in order.

We also got wet, though far less wet, and earlier in the day when it was warmer on the Jurassic Park River Adventure and Ripsaw Falls.

We rode the Storm Force Accelatron for a change of pace.  It was the crazy tea cups on steroids.  Solid but unspectacular ride.  Doctor Doom’s FearFall was anti-climatic.  I thought it would be like Tower of Terror except you can see how high up you were.  I don’t like free fall and went reluctantly.  I really wanted off before we went up.  Instead of slowly lifting us to the top and dropping us repeatedly (I was thinking I wouldn’t look), we shot up and bounced like on a bungee.  I was initially scared, but then said ‘That was it?!”  Sort of disappointing.

The only real disappointments were the Sinbad’s Voyage stunt show (Not so funny, and I’m really glad the kids weren’t there since they lit the witch on fire and she ran around for half a lifetime before diving into the pool.  Not kid fare.), and Poseidon’s Fury.

A great day, and some GREAT rollercoasters.  More than worth the free tix.  I’d pay to go back, as long as it was an off day so we could ride them as often as we did today.

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Considering the Aftermath

Here is one guy’s take on the election and its meaning.  The presentation is fun.

On a different note- at the end of Wednesday evening’s Law and Orderseason premiere we overheard the following: “Mr. McCoy, any truth to the rumor that you’ve been invited to join the Obama administration?”  Wonder if they had 2 different voice overs, or actually think Obama will have conservatives in his administration.  Just to make us go “hmmmm”.

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Considering My Princess & Warrior

Being a dad is a magnificent thing.  My little girl is growing up WAY too fast.  Soon I’ll have to get a 9mm and work on the “Application to Date CavGirl” form. 

She went to a friend’s birthday party this past weekend where they all dressed up like beautiful little girls and acted like models.  She wasn’t too sure about that lipstick.  But I think she had a great time despite having that stuff on her lips.  They forgot the sparkle and CavWife decided that with a long car ride home, it was best not to have it put on anyway.

CavWife forgot the camera, but did have the new cell phone which has a camera.  So I still got to see how she looked since I was home with the boy.  Suddenly she is more interested in dresses.  It fits, she’s a bit of a diva.

It is moments like this that she brings such joy to my heart.  She can be so full of life and creativity.  It is great!

Then there is my Warrior.  CavBoy is a complete hoot.  He’s finally climbing out of the crib (hey, he’s short for his age!).  We’ve begun potty training- which is a bit of a trip.  He’s doing fairly well.  He tells us when the poop is coming- we just need a bit more warning.  He’ll get it.

But I think he’s going to be an MMA star one of these days.  Wrestling seems to come naturally to him.  When you pick him up, he goes limp making it harder to maneuver him.  He has already learned that the head controls the body and will stiff arm you as you play on the floor.  He’ll also use his forearm to apply pressure in unpleasant places. 

Do Not Let the Shoes Fool You!

I’m not sure how he learned this.  It’s not like I’m watching it and he’s sitting with me.  Maybe it’s in his Chinese DNA.  Or my imagination.  He likes to roll around on the floor with his sister, and with me.  He tries to play with the dog, but he’s too old and arthritic.  Too bad he missed Huck’s salad days.  Huck would have been excited to have this guy to play with.

Yes, those are his ‘big boy undies’.  He still has trouble getting all the way up in front.  CavWife thinks it is hilarious.  I shake my head in shame.

CavWife has pushed me into going onto Facebook.  As a result, most of these things (family oriented things) will be there.  I think I can upload more photos more easily (thanks to the glitches in the laptop’s security system that makes life difficult).  You can find both of us on Facebook.  I really hope it doesn’t suck up all our free time.

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Considering Clothing

Boston.com photo

There needs to be a law against this?  I just …. don’t …. understand …. why.

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Considering the Fear of Man

Nehemiah’s enemies sought to promote fear.  Oddly, they feared him because they saw that he was getting the job done.  They knew they had to cripple or remove him somehow.  They sought to inspire fear in him & the people (the Hebrew word for fear is found in 6:9, 13,14 & 19).  Rather than fear man, Nehemiah feared God.  The tables are turned because after the wall is completed the surrounding nations were afraid.

One resource in exploring and addressing the fear of man is Ed Welch’s excellent book When People are Big and God is Small.  I can’t recommend it enough.

In doing some research for illustrations, I realized I wish I could play this Monty Python clip for them.

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Considering Reading Level

Contrary to what some people here in Polk County think … I’m not a genius.  Obviously.  I guess my quest to be readable has succeeded!

Movie Reviews

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Celtics Sign Who?

The Boston Celtics made a free agent signing today.  No, it wasn’t James Posey.  Or any other big name.  It was the one and only, utterly amazing Patrick O’Bryant (now that’s a good Irish name, me boy).

Bryant was the Warriors’ first round pick (#9 overall) in 2006.  He’s a 7 footer out of Bradley weighing in at 260 pounds.  Apparently he didn’t overwhelm Don Nelson and company.  But, due to the amazingly Irish name, he’s good for the Celtics as a back up to the oft injured Kendrick Perkins.

In his career, he has averaged 1.5 points, 1.2 rebounds and 5.5 minutes.  Oh, he’s a keeper, a trooper and a difference maker.  He was sent to the D-League on March 10th.  I am estatic about this signing!

I’m more estatic after reading Don Nelson’s comments regarding Mr. O’Bryant:

“I told him if he goes down to the D-League and isn’t a dominant player, there should be red flags all over the place, and he should be the first to notice. He’s not only not dominating, he’s not playing very well. He’s a long-term project. I really liked him the first week of training camp, but I assumed there would be great progress. He hasn’t gotten better one bit.”

HT: Celtics Blog

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Considering Parenting Headaches

It has been a strange few days.  With no response from the local job market, I’m spending too much time at home.  Strange things happen when daddy’s home so much.

Recently CavGirl has decided she wants to poop on the potty.  We had been making no headway on this agenda, and she had previously announced she’d start to do it when we went to the Farm (her grandparents).  She had apparently changed her mind.  This is a good thing in the overall scheme.  But as those who’ve been through it (rather than letting child care take care of it) it has its moments.  She’s only had one accident, usually going prior to naps or bedtime.  She is still using a diaper at night.  Except 2 nights ago… she decided to go her own version of commando.  I don’t know what we were thinking- we probably weren’t since we were stunned by the announcement.  This ended with her crying out in the middle of the night quite wet.

Last night was another go.  We had a plan.  In addition to the plastic undies, we would wake her up periodically to have her go pee.  I was sent off to grab some ice cream, arriving home to her in the potty.  Every few minutes she was going back to the potty, and doing business.  Like 5 times.  No, she was not sick.  I don’t know where it all came from, but we alternated going in to help her wipe.  It was getting downright wearisome.  We couldn’t relax!  And in between she had 500 comments and questions (God has given her 100,000 words a day).  Finally she announces she wants a diaper.  Whew!  No additional wake ups (CavBoy is worth 2-3 per night for water).

Today I mowed our neighbor’s lawn (since they are away) and our own.  It was probably about 90 degrees when all was said and done.  I was dripping wet, hot and not wanting to be bothered.  Our neighbor has a pool and we are free to use it.  But I was hoping CavWife would take the kids shopping.  She, of course, didn’ want to go with the kids.  The compromise … we’d go in the pool now and she’d shop while the kids napped.

At some point, a friend’s pre-teen son seems to have told CavGirl that the pool vacuum will swallow you.  Since our neighbor is away, the vacuum is in the pool.  She is utterly terrified, afraid it will swallow us up.  We show her that it will not hurt us.  Still crying.  Occasionally screaming.  CavBoy is happily puttering around in his little float, grasping CavWife’s hand.  The Girl continues to be traumatized- afraid for all of our lives.  Our relaxing dip in the pool is anything but.  After 45 minutes of evidence that no one has been swallowed by the pool vacuum, she tentatively enters the water.  Who knew raising a child would have such irrational, irritating moments?!  Was I like this?

Then there are the odd conversations I have with her.  He only has 6 words, so there are no conversations.  I asked her the other day about why she was angry.  She’d been having a few rough days.  I let her know that she was teaching her brother to do wrong.  “I want to teach him to do wrong.”  Ah … her depravity rears its cute little head.  We talked some more about that.  I apologized for the times I shouldn’t be angry, that I’ve taught her to do wrong.  Our anger doesn’t help us live in a way that pleases God and helps others.  We need to pray for Jesus’ help when we are angry and shouldn’t be.

Then there was the pool side conversation today after CavWife took CavBoy home to start lunch.  “Do you like me?” she asked.  “I like you, and I love you.  Sometimes I don’t like the things you do.”  “I like you, Daddy.”  Despite the ways we disrupt her life with discipline, she thinks we are “good helpers”.   She told CavWife that “God gave us a great mommy and daddy.”  I guess we are doing something right, even in the midst of our frustration and confusion.

One last conversation.  I was reading some of Dr. Roger Nicole’s Our Sovereign Savior at breakfast.  I pointed to his picture and told her “This was one of my teachers.  He is a very nice man, and very smart.”  Her response, “Do you hug and kiss him?”  Slight pause.  “No, I don’t kiss him.”

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Considering How to Love My Family

9 Mark Ministries compiled some ways for pastors to better love their wives (we’re talking a plurality of pastors, not polygamy) and kids.  Some of them are very good.  Some make me wonder “how?”  I’ll put my comments, silly and otherwise in brackets and in red.  Since they are compiled, there are some that sound inconsistent, go with it … they are suggestions.

IN RELATION TO YOUR FAMILY…

1. Take the initiative and establish a plan for family worship. Then follow the plan! (Don Whitney encourages “brevity, regularity, and flexibility” in family worship.)
2. Come home at the exact time you say you will be home; and prepare your heart to serve your family, not be served.  [this is very difficult to do regularly, at least for me.  there is that sinful sense of entitlement that plagues me when I return home, I want to rest not parent/husband.  i need grace.]
3. Take responsibility for your children’s education and discipline—don’t leave it to your wife to figure out.
4. Share with your wife and kids some of the good things that are going on in the church, and then thank them for helping to make that possible.
5. Use every hour of your vacation time. And take a vacation that does not involve extended family; restrict it to just your wife and kids.  [All of our vacations have involved extended family.  We can’t afford to go anywhere else- I’m a pastor!]
6. Take a two week vacation.  [this is wise, i’ve heard it takes about 10 days for you to actually begin to relax.  our 3 week summer vacations, though with extended family, were very relaxing.  if you go  to vacationing spots, it is hard to relax since you are going to theme parks and events.]
7. Diligently guard your days off.  [lay leaders love this, not!  it can quickly breed a sense of envy on their part, or assuming you think you’re better than them or special.  you have to work had to communicate this priority well.  but if you’re guarding your days off, they should be able to guard theirs from church business, so maybe they really feel convicted of their lack of attentiveness to their families.  who knows, but it can get messy, folks.]
8. There are times when it seems like you have to choose whether to be a good dad/husband or a good pastor. Good pastors choose to be good dad/husbands.  [What makes this difficult is the success-driven culture of many of our churches.  They want you to be a successful dad, not necessarily a loving & involved dad.  Loving involvement will mean less time to building the empire.  I know building my relationship with my daughter ‘cost’ the church some of my time/energy that might have resulted in a different outcome for the congregation- and my family.]IN RELATION TO YOUR WIFE…
9. Get up early and have your quiet time, so that you can take the kids in the morning while your wife has her quiet time.  [she’s up way before the rest of us, so this is a moot point for me.]
10. Give her flowers and a hand written card when she least expects it.

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Considering Home Repairs

It was time to face the inevitable.  Our shower head had been dripping for … well … I can’t even tell you how long.  I’d been avoiding it like the plague.  Last week we discovered that the flapper on the toilet was on its annual failure.  So, off to sLowe’s I went seeking replacement parts since 2/3 of my master bath was broken.

I got the contractor’s pack on the flappers since I seem to change them so often.  I think I’m fixing one of our 2 toilets every 6 months.  I feel conspired against by those toilets.  They want to drive me crazy.  It might be working.  Thankfully, that was a quick fix.  The hardest part was figuring out how long the chain had to be.  I could handle that.

At sLowe’s, I got help.  I found a shower faucet like ours and told an employee what my issue was.  Then she brought me to the handy dandy notebook that helps you figure out what you need to replace.  Hmmm, didn’t I feel like a clueless dolt.  But, I was in the plumbing department and I should be legal prohibited from entering that department.  Springs and seats was all I needed.  I think they were less than $2.  Better than dropping $15 on a whole new faucet, right?  Especially since replacing that would require a whole weekend for me.

This morning CavWife brought CavBoy to a doctor’s appointment, so I thought it was a great time to shut off the water and fix the ol’ shower.  Oh, yeah, I’ve got to stick my hand down into that whole in the lawn with the water meter filled with spider webs to turn the water off.  I’m thinking about black/brown widow spiders and brown recluses the entire time.  I’d be playing beat the clock to get to the ER with CavGirl in tow (yeah, that’ll happen quickly).  I managed to get the water off without being savaged by a poisonous arachnid.  Yes!

I opened the package for the seats and springs to see the instructions.  There was no diagram.  In tiny print there was the following:

Shut off water supply; cover drain opening.

1. Remove handle
2. Partially unscrew adjusting ring, remove cap assembly.
3. Pull up on ball stem to remove cam and ball assemblies.
4. Lift rubber seats and springs out of body.
5. Place new seats down over springs.
6. Reinstall ball assembly with cam and packing.
7. Install cap assembly hand tight, then tighten adjusting ring.

Remember, there was no diagram.  So what is the adjusting ring?  Which part is the cam and ball assemblies?  I’m flying blind here because I’m an ignorant, broke homeowner!  I’ve taken off what I can, and can’t go any further.  The night before a friend said this should take me 15 minutes.  I thought 30.  I’m 15 minutes in and can’t go further.  But, the house needs that little thing called “running water” to function.  I need to find help.

A trip around the neighborhood stirs up a neighbor willing to help.  He’s a former auto mechanic, but that’s much better than a pastor when it comes to indoor plumbing!  Together with pry what I think are the cam and ball assemblies out of the faucet, with some help from WD-40.  I think it has been an hour now.

I replace the seats and springs.  Now it is time to get the thing back together.  But the same seals that kept it together now keep it apart.  We are having issues.  I’m sweating, picturing a call to a real plumber and fearing the monstrous bill I’ll have for such a simple thing as this.  I begin to doubt the goodness of God.  I offer up desperate prayers….. please help me get this back together!!!!!

Somehow we do manage to get the thing back together with more wrenches and WD-40.  I stick my hand back into the nasty hole in my front lawn to turn the water back on.  No spider bites.  No leaks!  We are back in business!

I put the last few things together and discover this 15 minute job has taken me 90 minutes.  But, I can now shower away the fear and frustration.  Why is this water so cool?  Yeah, I’d somehow reversed something so hot is cold and cold is hot.  That’s me … Mr. Handy.

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Considering a Wonderful Wedding Weekend

This weekend I had the privilege of officiating the wedding ceremony of a great friend who was marrying a great woman.  They are … a great couple.

Since it was nearly 2 hours away drive-time, and CavGirl was the flower girl, we ended up staying in a Residence Inn about 30 minutes away from the wedding site.  We packed up the car and headed out Friday morning, hoping to enjoy some time at the hotel before naps.  Alas, that was not to be so since it took longer to get there than I had anticipated.  It was farther north than I thought, which was advantageous when it came to going back and forth for rehearsal & the wedding with 2 toddlers.

The front desk informed us that due to a lightning strike, they would have to test the alarm system that afternoon.  But they checked our room before we even got settled in.

After I unloaded the car, I set out to iron my clothes for that evening.  I wouldn’t be able to do it with the kids down for a nap.  At that point CavWife asked about the dresses for CavGirl, and her own clothing for the festivities that night and the next.  “Huh?  What clothes?  I thought you got them?”  I was informed that I actually had to move them off my suit to load it into the car.  She was without appropriate clothing for the rehearsal and dinner to follow.   Neither of us was happy.

Now I’m checking out the LG HD LCD TVs in the rooms.  I have TV envy- the picture is so incredibly sharp.  After the kids enjoy their lunch it is off to bed for them.  I wonder, what are we eating?  Apparently I’m off to hunt up some grub for 2 starving adults.  After splitting a McDonald’s Asian salad and some McTenders we settle in for the afternoon.  All was going fabulously until I started to get ready for the rehearsal.  Suddenly the alarms for the whole building are blaring- the kids are screaming (well, they had to get up anyway).  It is so ear-piercing we take them out by the pool to calm them down.  I couldn’t even think in there.  This is the effect they wanted them to have.  But I had flashbacks to 3 am fire alarms in college.

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Today’s Strange and Sad News

I’ve been focused on the serious side lately.  We all need distractions.  These are stories I ran across today between CavSon’s hearing evaluation and speech therapy.

God sold cocaine.  In nearby Tampa, God Lucky Howard was arrested for selling cocaine to undercover officers.  He did this within 1,000 feet of a church and public housing, so his charges are more severe.  I’m glad my God doesn’t numb my soul with drugs, but helps me face what ails me.

There is a Messiah in Siberia.  He used to be a traffic cop, and now claims he is Jesus Christ.  Sadly, over 5,000 people have left their homes and familes to join him in Siberia.  Over 10,000 people worldwide belong to the Church of the Last Testament.  That they are strict vegetarians, don’t smoke or drink says enough for me.  We could use more windmills and solar panels, though.

People are still looking for a Messiah, someone to save them from their circumstances.  The unfortunate thing is they by-pass the real Messiah and settle for lousy imitations.  Man truly is a perpetual factory of idols (Calvin).

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