Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘addiction’


Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs [2 CD 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition]Albums in the 60’s could be frustrating. Everyone seemed in search of the hit single, not developing strong albums of strong songs. So, when I think of the albums produced by the Yardbirds and Cream (and the Kinks), I think of some great songs that Clapton played on. But not necessarily albums that stood out to me.

For Clapton, that changed (for me) with Derek and the Dominos one and only release, Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs. Eric had spent time touring America with Blind Faith and Delaney & Bonnie and Friends was the opening act. Some of those friends joined him to form Derek and the Dominos: Bobby Whitlock (keys & vocals), Carl Radle (bass) and Jim Gordon (drums).

Clapton’s sound had shifted. With the Yardbirds, the focus was on R&B, and with Cream it was blues rock. His time with Delaney & Bonnie seems to have moved him in more of a southern blues rock direction which would take up most of the 70’s. He also grew weary of fame, which may be a reason for “becoming” Derek.

Derek and the Dominos.pngThis album sounds like Clapton joined the Allman Brothers, and not just because Duane Allman played some slide guitar on this album. Other guests included Dave Mason (actually a member of the band for about a year, playing some live shows with them) and George Harrison. Mason grew weary of Clapton’s focus on helping George instead of them working full time as a band.

We owe the success of this album as much to Harrison as to Delaney & Bonnie. Derek and the Dominos formed during sessions for his All Things Must Pass Album. They had been jamming and writing songs before those sessions, but didn’t seem to have had much of a plan beyond the moment. The persona of Derek allowed Eric to sing about his unrequited love for Harrison’s wife, Pattie Boyd. George was his best friend, so this internal conflict was more encouragement to get stoned, and play guitar. It wasn’t just Layla that expressed this, but a number of the songs deal with love gone sideways and feeling like you’re going to die. For instance, Bell Bottom Blues which is probably one of my favorite Clapton songs:

Bell bottom blues, you made me cry.
I don’t want to lose this feeling.
And if I could choose a place to die
It would be in your arms.
Do you want to see me crawl across the floor to you?
Do you want to hear me beg you to take me back?
I’d gladly do it because
I don’t want to fade away.
Give me one more day, please.
I don’t want to fade away.
In your heart I want to stay.
It’s all wrong, but it’s all right.
The way that you treat me baby.
Once I was strong but I lost the fight.
You won’t find a better loser.
The double album is a collection of original songs and covers of older blues standards and a tribute to Hendrix in Little Wing.
The album begins with I Looked Away, which is credited Clapton & Whitlock. We see the lost love theme right away.
She took my hand
And tried to make me understand
That she would always be there,
But I looked away
And she ran away from me today;
I’m such a lonely man.
It came as no surprise to me
That she’d leave me in misery.
It seemed like only yesterday
She made a vow that she’d never walk away.And if it seemed a sin
To love another man’s woman, baby,
I guess I’ll keep on sinning
Loving her, Lord, till my very last day.
But I looked away
And she ran away from me today;
I’m such a lonely man.

Related imageClapton’s voice cracks at times. The slide guitar chirps and Whitlock adds some background vocals. This is a short song, a mere 3:04, on an album dominated by songs 5 minutes or longer. But it sets the tone both musically and thematically.
Then it is 5 minutes of blissful agony with Bell Bottomed Blues (BBB). This is such a great song, written by Clapton and Whitlock. Clapton alternates his vocals and lead runs perfectly. The pain is seemingly evident in the whole song.
Keep On Growing doesn’t hit the heights of BBB, but it is a good song. It is about a young man who learns he has much to learn about love. It has plenty of instrumental sections to fill its 6 minutes.
Next we have the first cover, Nobody Knows You When You’re Down and Out by Jimmy Cox. It is more of a straight blues song about a man who has lost it all and finds himself friendless.
Next Clapton used much of the Persian poem The Story of Layla and Majnun by Nizmai as the lyrics for I Am Yours. It is a song with more space than others on the album. Some acoustic guitar, organ and simple lead along with the lyrics seem to dominate. The repeated lines of “I am yours, however distant you may be” continue the theme of the album.
Anyday returns to the sound similar to the rest of the album, and Allman’s slide guitar. While touching on the rejection, it hangs on to hope that anyday now she will smile and receive him.
You were talking and I thought I heard you say
“Please leave me alone
Nothing in this world can make me stay
I’d rather go back, I’d rather go back home”
But if you believed in me like I believe in you
We could have a love so true, we would go on endlessly
And I know anyday, anyday, I will see you smile
Any way, any way, only for a little while
Well someday baby, I know you’re gonna need me
When this old world has got you down
I’ll be right here, so woman call me
And I’ll never ever let you down
Key to the Highway is another old blues standard written by Charles Seger, William Lee and Conley Broonzy. Eric would later play this on his album with B.B. King as well. In this song, he is leaving her. While there is one last kiss, there is no time to waste in heading for the border.
Back to their own compositions with Tell the Truth, about who’s been fooling who. This song doesn’t really stand out.
More upbeat southern blues rock with Why Does Love Got to Be so Sad?. The chorus is repetitive. He’s like a moth to the flame, however. He’s aware she’ll break his heart, but still there’s a song in that heart.
Stop running away;
I’ve got a better game to play,
You know I can’t go on living without you.
Have You Ever Loved a Woman is a song by Billy Myles. A blues song with plenty of good licks. We see why it is on this album when we look at the lyrics:
Have you ever loved a woman
So much you tremble in pain?
Have you ever loved a woman
So much you tremble in pain?And all the time you know, yeah
She bears another man’s name

But you just love that woman
So much it’s a shame and a sin
You just love that woman, yes
So much it’s a shame and a sin

But all the time you know, yes you know
She belongs to your very best friend

All this makes on wonder what it was like to hang out with Eric and George during this time.
Little Wing is by Hendrix and would also be covered by Stevie Ray Vaughn. Hendrix notes it is about the women you sometimes meet who flit in and out of your life but leave their mark. They leave sadness because they seem so far above us. Hendrix died tragically 8 days after they recorded this track which was devastating to Eric (and many others).
It’s Too Late is a cover of an Animal’s song. The reason it is too late is she’s gone.
Layla takes its name from the aforementioned Persian love poem. It is, of course, the best known song from this album and a staple on classic rock radio. Fittingly. The instrumental is a bit too long for some people. Not for me. Last night I learned that Clapton played a Les Paul rather than his Strat for this song. Layla is obviously Pattie. And Eric is obviously a mess.
I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down.
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
Turned my whole world upside down.
Layla, you’ve got me on my knees.
Layla, I’m begging, darling please.
Layla, darling won’t you ease my worried mind.
Let’s make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane.
Please don’t say I’ll never find a way
And tell me all my love’s in vain.
It is strange to find a popular song so deep into an album. This is the 13th track! But it ended up on the Top 10 in 1971.
The album closes with Thorn Tree in the Garden. It is under 3 minutes. Bobby sings to acoustic guitar. It was written by him about the only girl he ever loved, and still misses. Musically, it doesn’t quite fit on this album. But it is the last song, and it is short so who really cares.
The band only survived this album. Perhaps they were done in by the drugs. But it was also the realization that it was fake, they were hiding and this was Clapton singing about trying to steal his friend’s wife. The album itself was not warmly received at first, by critics and the public. This fueled Clapton’s depression and addiction. Tragedy followed the members. Allman would die in an accident a year later. Radle’s drug and alcohol abuse lead to kidney problems that caused his death in 1980. Jim Gordon’s schizophrenia was not diagnosed (drug induced?) and he killed his mother with a hammer. He’s been institutionalized since 1984.
While initially not a success, it would chart in 1972 and again in 1982. It is known as one of the high marks of Clapton’s career. Sometimes the things that seem our biggest failures end up defining us, in a good way. The pain behind this album is obvious but it also seemed to bring out the best in Slowhand, producing music which touches the soul.

Read Full Post »


I was so excited about the 500th anniversary of the Reformation I was laying awake for hours in the middle of the night.

Not really. Just some insomnia as I pondered my next sermon, my sermon series that begins in January and a host of other things. One of them was the Reformers.

Some people are very critical of the Reformation. There is indeed cause for lament over another divorce in the body of Christ (as a friend’s sermon put it). Some people are really bothered by the sins of the Reformers and subsequent leaders. Sins they are.

Many happen to be sins that our age looks down upon most severely. Sins that were not necessarily understood to be sins in their day. Luther’s anti-Semitism late in life. Calvin’s involvement in Servetus’ trial as a heretic resulting in the death penalty (this would be scandalous today, not necessarily sinful, though many misunderstand the circumstances and act like Calvin lit the fire). Edwards, Whitefield and others owned slaves. I could go on.

Some try to discredit the Reformation, or other movements within Protestantism, based on the sins of such leaders. How could God use such stubbornly sinful men?

Perhaps their sinfulness is the precise reason God used them.

God magnifies His grace by using Moses the murderer, David the adulterer & murderer, Jacob the con man, Abram the liar, Peter the impetuous, Paul the blasphemer etc. And the Reformers.

Ah, but those men repented. Luther, Edwards and others didn’t. Hmm, what about the sins you fail to repent of? Shall they overcome union with Christ too? Do they mean you were never united to Christ? We have to be careful for the measure we use will be how we are measured.

I’m not saying that these things weren’t sins. I am saying that His grace is greater than their sin (and mine).

By their sinfulness He is also saving us from our sinfulness. As Calvin noted, the human heart is “a factory of idols.” We would turn these men into saints, like Rome and the Orthodox so. Rather than leaders, we’d make them super-saints who were better than us. Even now many of us still struggle with this. Some try to down play, ignore and outright reject the idea that they were sinner like us.

God is patient and long-suffering with sinners. His active and passive obedience are sufficient for our salvation. As Steve Brown so “scandalously” said at the Ligonier National Conference in ’91, “there is nothing you can do to add to, or take away, from the work of Christ.” We are justified by Christ’s righteousness, not our own. This is the whole point of the Reformation’s re-discovery of the gospel. This is revealed clearly in the lives of these men (and women). Their faith was imperfect, just like ours is.

We quickly forget that we have our own cultural blindspots. We stand firm against many forms of addiction/idolatry. But not gluttony or shopping. Not our idolatrous pursuit of external beauty and “fitness”. Our “American Dream” driven greed would be called idolatry by Paul. Our exaltation of our culture as a norm (particularly by majority cultures) would receive a Galatians-like lashing from Paul. We’d better take the log out of our own eyes lest we somehow think we are better than these saved by grace alone saints of days gone by.

Reformation Day should really be humbling. We are truly saved by grace alone, always. Salvation is thru faith alone in Christ alone. It is for God’s glory alone. Reformation Day is the great day to remember that “Salvation Belongs to the Lord”, the focus of my sermon from Jonah 2:8-10.

The Reformation, and the Reformers, need not be perfect for us to express gratitude. It isn’t about big parties and celebrations (though those aren’t wrong) but about the grateful disposition of the heart.

Read Full Post »


No one likes to feel shame, even if it is such a regular part of their existence that they are “used” to it. Shame is one of those things we don’t like to talk about unless we are trying to put it on others: “you should be ashamed of yourself” or “have you no shame?”.

I’m sure a book on shame is a hard sell. I mean, who wants to think about their shame? But Shame Interrupted is about “how God lifts the pain of worthlessness and rejection.” This is a worthwhile goal. This is a worthwhile, if uneven book.

At its best this book does two things. First, it gets you to think about your life. Many times I thought of instances where shame was put on me, or lifted from me or I struggled with my shame. Second, it gets you to look at Christ who bore our shame so we don’t have to bear it any more.

Years ago, for a counseling course, I’d compared and contrasted two different books on dealing with sexual abuse. Both were good at describing the ways in which it affects us, but only one really focused on the gospel and its implications for the sexually abused. If I’d had time this week, I would have gone back to another book I read years ago on shame to compare & contrast. I may yet do this very thing. But Ed Welch focuses on the gospel and its implications for your shame.

“Shame is the deep sense that you are unacceptable because of something you did, something done to you, or something associated with you. You feel exposed and humiliated.”

There you have it. Welch begins by explaining shame and giving examples from the lives of his counseling clients. Some people just give in to the shame allowing it to define and control who they are. Others fight the shame, often with the wrong weapons. Good grades, a nice car, attractive spouse or celebrity status won’t remove our shame. Shame is like acid, and unless you place a base on it the acid will continue to burn you.

He also compares and contrasts guilt and shame. They are often produced by the same events yet they are quite different. Guilt has to do with the language of the courtroom. It says “you have done something wrong, and you must pay.” Shame has to do with the language of the community. It says “there is something wrong about you and we don’t want anything to do with you.” Guilt is about the wrongness of an action while shame is about the wrongness of a person. When we sin we often feel both guilt and shame. We have done wrong and there is something profoundly wrong with us. As a result we withdraw, feeling unworthy of the love of another.

When someone does something wrong to us we may feel guilt, false or illegitimate guilt. We didn’t do anything wrong. But we will feel shame. Victims may falsely blame themselves, but the guilt lies with the victimizer. Shame, however, now belongs to both. Shame, therefore, is even more commonplace than guilt. It is powerful, often like solitary confinement, above and beyond the general population prison cell of guilt.

Shame can often lead to greater sin. Addicts, who are often buckets of shame, often continue to sin because they “deserve it.” I do not mean entitlement but a sense of I am a pig and belong in the mud. Addictions can relieve the pain of shame, but also function as the validation or just consequences. We think “I am a horrible person, and I don’t deserve happiness.” In this way we see the self-destructiveness of shame as a person ruins whatever good there is in their lives. In some cases, profound shame can drive someone to suicide, the ultimate in self-destruction. So ministry to them should include both guilt AND shame, not one or the other.

Welch writes of how the Bible talks about shame under the term uncleanness. This is the idea that sin pollutes us. Disease also pollutes us, and the unclean person is isolated from the rest of the community so no one “gets it.” This is a frequent subject in Scripture and we often overlook it as some antiquated idea when it really is just about our frequent, persistent experience of shame.

Christ, the sin bearer, not only removed our guilt but our shame. Part of the promise of the new covenant in Ezekiel 36 is that we would be sprinkled clean, our pollution would be removed. The blood of Christ deals with our guilt and shame, not one or the other.

Since shame is about association too, Welch brings us to our union with Christ. Associated with Him, we receive His glory. Our identity shifts in Christ so the shame associated with the old man in Adam has been lifted and we’ve been given alien honor just as we have received alien righteousness.

In the Gospels we see that Jesus often touched unclean people. This is exactly what you were not supposed to do because it made any mere mortal unclean. But Jesus was not a mere mortal. As the God-man Jesus was not overcome by their uncleanness but their uncleanness was removed. Everything was upside down because Jesus came to reverse the curse.

This is a lengthy book at about 300 pages. Not all of it connected to me, particularly in the middle. However, in light of the pervasiveness and power of shame this is a very important book. Even if you don’t struggle with shame your spouse, kids or congregants will. We should want to understand their struggle and be able to point them to the One who can break the self-destructive cycle of shame. In the process, however, you might find that shame plays a bigger role in your life than you ever realized.

One of the rare aspects of Welch’s work is that he sometimes includes discussion of the sacraments as how God changes us. This book is no different. I wish he’d gone deeper into the subject. It is unfortunate that we don’t see many discussions of the sacraments from a Reformed perspective, as means of grace meant for our growth in Christ. So we have to take it when we can.

One word of caution, I suppose. People struggling with shame may not want to read this until they are ready. We are odd people. The right medicine at the wrong time can magnify the problem by hardening hearts. So be gentle with those struggling with shame. Learn to recognize and respect what boundaries they do have because those boundaries may be all that keeps them in relationship to you.

Read Full Post »


I recently picked up a book in an attempt to understand one of my children better so I can parent better. It is a book on the concept of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). I heard about the book from a congregant who thought I was a HSP. As I read some of the book this morning, thinking both of my child and my self, I found both confusion and clarity.

My Presuppositions: We are all broken, though in different places and to different degrees. As a result of Adam’s sin, we are not only sinners but we are also affected physically and emotionally. We are a mess, and while Jesus doesn’t keep us as messy we don’t always understand the mess. Is that messy? Some aspects of our brokenness are there from the beginning of our lives. They are genetic. The author mentions this with regard to HSPs. She sees them as “naturally occurring” on the spectrum of sensitivity. There are some, I gather she’d say, who look like HSPs but aren’t: they’ve been traumatized by something. Their increased sensitivity would not be innate, but picked up from their environment or circumstances. Some of our brokenness comes at the hands of others after birth: parents, friends, strangers. It is hard for us, much of the time, to tell which it is.

The Problem of Pop Psychology: Often times symptoms overlap. A condition is describe in such terms that too many people see themselves there. If you read too many books, you can think you’ve got everything. Or just the wrong thing.

Years ago I read Driven to Distraction on the recommendation of a friend who struggled with ADD and saw a similar struggle in me. Don’t confuse ADD with ADHD. I never saw myself as hyperactive, but I struggle to remain focused. I am easily distracted and have a hard time in environments like airplanes for anything much longer than an hour. I get restless leg syndrome, I can’t read anything more engaging than a novel and end up fairly miserable.

But do I have ADD? I can check enough boxes in the self-test to say ‘yes.’ But not only are we a mess, but a mysterious mess. Our symptoms could be explained by other things. For instance, the author of the book on HSPs distinguishes it from ADD (this was helpful!). They differ, apparently on where the blood flows more in their brains.

“Children with ADD probably have very active go-for-it systems and relatively inactive pause-to-check systems. … But ADD is a disorder because it indicates a general lack of adequate ‘executive functions,’ such as decision making, focusing, and reflecting on outcomes. HSCs are usually good at all of this, at least when they are in a calm, familiar environment. For whatever reason (the cause is not known), children with ADD find it difficult to learn to prioritize, to return their attention to what they are doing once they have glanced outside or know the teacher is not talking to them personally. … another reason HSCs can be misdiagnosed as having ADD is because, if the distractions are numerous or prolonged, or they are emotionally upset and thus overstimulated already from within, they may very well become overwhelmed by outer distractions and behave as if agitated or ‘spacey.'” Elaine Aron (The Highly Sensitive Child)

I can prioritize, reflect on outcomes and have a pause-to-check system. I am not a big risk taker. I am thoughtful. But I may be easily overwhelmed by data or sensory input. I can study to music and TV, but not to talking. Or apparently with an internet connection at hand. I may be distracted, but for different reasons.

(more…)

Read Full Post »


There are times when an author or screenwriter says more than they intend to say. I wonder if Flight is one of those times. I don’t know the screenwriter (John Gatins) and his worldview. But it closely approximates a biblical worldview, and there are a number of characters who are Christians.

Flight is not an enjoyable movie to watch, unless you enjoy watching a man destroy his life. Flight is mostly about the destructive power of sin, though there is a strong theme of common grace and, at the end, a taste of redemption. As a result, it is not as depressing and nihilistic as Leaving Las Vegas. While it depicts lots of sin, it is not trying to justify or glorify it. It shows the hell of it.

The first few minutes of the movie are tough to watch if you have a sensitive conscience. Our introduction to the main character, Captain “Whip” Whitaker (Denzel Washington) is in a hotel room after a night of excess that included sex, booze and drugs. While his partner for the night wanders around the room naked (eventually, and mercifully, she gets dressed) he argues on the phone with his ex-wife and then prepares for work by snorting some coke. What we see is not a “nice” guy.

But Whip is an excellent pilot. When the flight from Orlando to Atlanta goes terribly wrong he is able to pull the plane out of an uncontrolled dive (in a very harrowing scene), and land it in a large field. He awakens in a hospital to discover that 4 passengers and 2 crew (including the woman with whom he was partying) have died. We later learn that in the simulator, no one could land the plan safely. This incredibly flawed man does something heroic.

(more…)

Read Full Post »


Sometimes you find strange bedfellows in the course of publishing. Fearless is a book published by an overtly Christian publisher. It is the story of Adam Brown, a Christian who served on Seal Team Six. It was written by Eric Blehm, who doesn’t seem to be a Christian, but who specializes in books about military men and exercises. So it all works.

“Adam was a friend, teammate, and brother in arms. Adam was a husband and a son and a father. Adam will always be a hero. His actions on his final mission were indicative of the way he lived his life. Fearless.” Adam’s CO in Afghanistan

Eric Blehm keeps the pacing of Adam’s story moving. He does not linger too long in any one place.  He is honest about Adam’s life. Early on he seems bigger than life, as the qualities that made him a Navy Seal reveal themselves in his childhood. He was tough, relentless and kind-hearted. Adam stuck up for the little guy.

But, like many, he needed direction. Soon after graduating from high school, a dating relationship would lead him down a bad road that would long outlast that bad relationship. She would introduce him to drugs, including crack. This is the drug that nearly cost him everything.

Adam’s story is about 2nd and 3rd chances. After a few arrests, time at Teen Challenge and yet still struggling with addiction he decides he needs to enter the Navy with a long term goal of becoming a Navy Seal. It is then that someone takes a chance on him- Captain Buschmann, the father of one of his best friends.

It is the story of love, perseverance and faith. His parents, siblings and wife struggled to love him because of his addiction. It never completely went away. Like most addictions, it re-surfaced at inopportune moments.

Not only did they have to persevere with Adam, but Adam had to persevere through numerous injuries that would have forced a lesser man to give up. He had a high pain threshold, to say the least. Being a Seal takes a tremendous toll on your body due to the physical conditioning necessary (at one point he had a 4 inch long bone chip removed from his ankles, and should have had the bones fused). He would suffer freak injuries to his right eye and hand that should have resulted in him being washed out to the Seals. But he learned to shoot left-handed and passed the training and tests to join the elite Team Six despite them. He was prone to accidents as well. He could have (should have?) taken disability long before his final deployment. But that just didn’t fit who Adam was.

In his youth his grandmother would bring Adam and his twin sister to church since he parents didn’t go to church. He prayed that God would save them. He would bring them to saving faith, and the means was Adam’s destructive addiction to crack. Broken, Adam would eventually reaffirm his own faith in Christ. He was not a Bible-thumper, but loved the men he worked with and invited many of them to church. After Adam’s own death on a mission, one of his best friends came to faith. Six weeks later, that Seal was with the others on the CH-47 that crashed.

“Are we going to abandon our faith, or apply our faith?” Adam’s father Larry Brown

Blehm tells a very engaging story about a unique sort of man. Passionate in his love for his country, an expert in warfare, Adam was also a goofy dad who loved to play with kids at church and while in the field. Seeing Afghan children without shoes and winter approaching, he started a drive that provided over 500 shoes for children. His was not a merely intellectual faith.

The book is understandably short on mission details. Most of his work is still classified. But the book relays lots of information about the final mission that took his life. It was his last deployment. He’d just received his bachelor’s degree and hoped to get an MBA. He was ready to settle in at home with Kelly and the kids. His death rocked the faith of his whole family, which is understandable. Their faith didn’t present them easy answers. They struggled.

Mild Cautions-

First, there are aspects to their faith that come across as more superstitious than biblical. I’m not saying they aren’t Christians, I think they are. But the idea that someone is “with you” or “present” after death is contrary to Scripture. Christians are in the presence of Jesus and did not suddenly become ubiquitous.

Second, since it deals with military culture there is some off-color language and experiences that most non-military people like myself don’t get. For instance, he takes a bet to place his scrotum (Blehm used the more common slang term) on a fire ant hill for 30 seconds. Having been bitten by fire ants often, I’m not putting the most sensitive part of my body on a hill to be attacked.  Especially as my friends watch, or hold me down.

There was much to like about this book. I’ve read other books by and about the Seals and Delta Force. This was up there with Marcus Luttrell’s Lone Survivor. You get a glimpse into the training and personal lives, shaping influences and more. You are left with a deep appreciation for the work they do for the other citizens of the country they love.

[I received a promotional copy of this book from the publisher for the purposes of review]

Read Full Post »


The Salton Sea is one of my favorite Val Kilmer movies. It is quirky and an odd sense of humor. In addition to Val Kilmer you find Vincent D’Onofrio, B.D. Wong, Peter Sarsgaard, Anthony LaPaglia, Luis Guzman and more. It is a crime drama that takes place in the midst of the tweaker culture of Southern California. Since I was home alone for a week, I decided it was a good opportunity to enjoy the movie again.

"Look in the mirror and tell me what you see."

One of the central questions of the film is “who am I?”. It is a movie wrestling with the question of identity. The movie begins with Val’s character(s) lying gut shot on the floor of a burning apartment playing the trumpet. “Am I an avenging angel, or a rat who got what he deserved?” The movie tells the story of how he ended up there so you can decide.

After the murder of his wife, Tom Van Allen assumes a new identity in order to discover the identity of her murders. His plan, initially, is to take revenge. To do so, he becomes a police informant, and an addict. Every so often he goes to a locked trunk in his room. Inside is his true identity: papers, pictures, clothes, hat and trumpet. He puts them on, and plays. He’s trying to keep who he is in mind. He’s losing his grip on his identity. He’s losing… himself. In the midst of the lies he tells others, he’s beginning to believe those same lies. The lines between Tom and Danny are beginning to blur. He’s not sure if he’s still Tom or if he’s become Danny. But while Tom seeks revenge, someone else is seeking revenge against Danny the Rat.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »