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Posts Tagged ‘heterosexuality’


Earlier in his book Love into Light, Peter Hubbard talked about change. There he talked about unrealistic expectations for change. Change is an internal thing.

Discussion of change for a homosexual (as well as for any sexually immoral person, like addicts) eventually gets to the issues of celibacy and marriage. How you understand yourself if important to this discussion. If you view yourself as the world labels you (“homosexual”, “pervert” “misfit” or “dirty”) you will live out that reality. If you view yourself as God views you if you are in Christ (beloved, holy, son) you will begin to live out of this new reality. No, not perfectly. It is a progress. But God’s labels for those in Christ provide something of the goal.

He notes that we struggle with this notion of an “assigned” life or label. Deep down most of us suspect that God doesn’t have our best in mind. Deep down we think that we know the path to a fulfilling life better than God does. We forget that this is what got us in the deep hole we were in in the first place.

Additionally, Matthew Vines, he notes, talks about how homosexuals often feel left out as their friends marry and have kids. This is not something particular to homosexuals. I didn’t get married until I was 36, and a father until 39. I saw so many friends get married and have kids. I felt left out, forgotten and as if it would never happen to me. That’s the funny thing about sin, it deceives us into thinking we are the only one who feels this way. We don’t realize that others who don’t share our reasons also feel the same kinds of things. Marrying late wasn’t really MY choice. I wanted to get married, but experienced that frustrating reality that the people I wanted to marry didn’t want to marry me. And the people who wanted to marry me were not ones I wanted to marry.

I, like many in my state, wondered “what if God is calling me to be single, forever?” It seemed a fate worse than death at times. I wasn’t struggling with SSA. This is a human problem, not merely a SSA problem. My wife and I have many older friends who have never been married.

There are a number of people in the Bible who were never married or were widowed and remained single and alone with no outlet for their sexual desire. Jesus is pretty prominent there. As fully (hu)man, He would have experienced sexual desire. He would have found particular people attractive. But he never acted upon such desire. He mission trumped all those internal feelings and desires, such that His food was to do the will of His Father.

We also see Paul (probably widowed since he was a Pharisee of Pharisees). Paul was a sinner, like the rest of us. Paul lived in a culture with few if any sexual boundaries. There was temptation without and within. Surely there was loneliness and frustration. As the head of her household, Lydia was single or widowed as well. As that head of household, there would have been slaves or servants she could use to satisfy her sexual desires, as was common. But every indication is that she lived a faithful, obedient life that flowed out of her faith and love for Christ.

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Suppose a homosexual comes to faith in your church, what next? Perhaps you had some constructive conversations and they realize the issue is SIN, and not “just” homosexuality. They come to see that Jesus has born their sin, all of it. What next?

That issue of change is the next subject of Peter Hubbard’s Love Into Light. The process of change that he talks about isn’t peculiar to homosexuals. He applies the biblical concepts of gospel transformation to homosexuals. But he is also honest about what changes to really expect.

He begins in an unexpected place though. He talks about misdiagnosis, about misunderstanding the real problem. For years the high incidence of depression and suicide among homosexuals were connected to being “in the closet” unable to express who they really are. That has changed in many ways. They are counseled to live out their homosexuality in full view of the world. Yet, the high rates of depression and suicide seem to persist. Perhaps the problem wasn’t being closeted. Though they are gaining cultural power, these emotional problems they were promised would diminish remain.

“… this link is no longer clear since sexual expression and social acceptance do not always alter the levels of depression, substance abuse, and suicide. So maybe the ‘cure’ (sexual expression) is actually part of the ‘disease’.” Ritch Savin-Williams, homosexual professor and researcher

This does not mean that the “antidote” is heterosexuality. This is where many get lost. They think that change means becoming heterosexual. That might not be God’s plan for a repentant homosexual.

“Jesus is not our get-out-of homosexuality plan, but “the way and the truth and the life.” Real change is not simply a reaction t our latest problems, but a miraculous step toward our new eternal identity.”

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