Considering Spurgeon’s Sorrows

This weekend I read Zack Eswine’s short (140+ pages) book Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for those who Suffer from Depression. I wasn’t depressed, but I was preaching on Psalm 42-3 on Sunday. I had been meaning to read this book earlier, but other volumes always seemed to jump to the front of the queue. So, with a long weekend, the time was now.

I had already done much of my preparation and even written the sermon when I started the book. I added a few things as a result of the reading I’d done by Saturday night. I also changed my introduction.

“I am the subject of depressions of spirit so fearful that I hope none of you ever get to such extremes of wretchedness as I go to.” Charles Spurgeon

What I discovered is that many people have never heard a sermon on depression. That is depressing. Just about everyone struggles with depression at some point, but for some it is commonplace and debilitating. The Psalm in question is one of the places where we learn that godly people can be downcast. It is no sin, but a manifestation of living in a fallen world.

Eswine’s book is written, or seems to be, with the depressed in mind. The chapters are short since often their attention spans are short. This is no tome, but meant to encourage people and let them know they are not alone in suffering from this malady. He also points us to Jesus who knew such negative emotions as the Sin-Bearer.

“Broken hearted one, Jesus Christ knows all your troubles, for similar troubles were his portion.” Charles Spurgeon

There are three main sections of the book: Trying to Understand Depression, Learning to Help Those Who Suffer from Depression, and Learning Helps to Daily Cope with Depression.

The first section helps some to name their experience. That may sound strange, but let me explain. For years I would get bad headaches and would want to sleep. These were different from what I was used to. One day someone told me they were migraines. I never would have imagined that I had migraines. Other people get those, not me. This is how many think of depression- that’s for other people. Eswine takes some of the mystery out of depression by reminding us how common it can be, and various ways depression is experienced (just as the Psalmist seems to do).

He brings us often to Spurgeon who struggled with depression all of his adult life. This is important for us to see that being depressed itself is not a sin and that real Christians can and do get depressed. There are also a variety of causes of depression: body chemistry, spiritual problems and circumstances. These interact with one another, and all are traced back to Adam’s sin in Eden. We are embodied spirits, so there is interaction between physical and spiritual realities. Not every depression is caused by spiritual problem, but every depression will have spiritual consequences. Because some have a genetic predisposition to depression means that they have a weakness, not that they are weak people. We all have weaknesses. But we don’t want to point a finger and condemn those who suffer as weak.

“Our misery has poisoned us with a tragic arrogance. Our pains have deluded our reasoning.”

In the second section he notes that diagnosis is not the same as a cure. There is no magic bullet for depression. It doesn’t take away the struggle, but helps us to understand some of the dynamics of depression. We can start to analyze ourselves and say “That’s the depression talking.” Depression obscures reality. It even lies to us (“It will never get better.”) and we struggle to sort out fact and fiction, like Peeta in The Mockingjay we have to ask “Real? Not real?”

He reminds us that not all who seek to help are helpful. Sincere people can do harm while they seek to help. We are also reminded of the Man of Sorrows who is able to help because He has experienced these cruel realities.

The third section is largely about coping with depression. He discusses feeding hope, one of the spiritual realities depression robs us of. Pouring out our soul, and filling it with truth is important. But it isn’t a cure-all. He mentions other ways we can care for ourselves in depression: rest, laughter, medication etc. Taking medication doesn’t make you weak or weird. You are not a 2nd class kind of Christian. It is the use of appropriate means, particularly when combined with other means like counseling. The medication helps you to function so you can talk, work and relate to others. I recommend keeping DVDs and books that make you laugh. They can serve as another life preserver when you feel like you are sinking down. These things are not substitutes for Jesus unless you use them to avoid Jesus.

“Our way of fighting is to hide behind Jesus who fights for us.”

There is also the dark reality of suicidal thoughts. Many in deep depression consider ending the deep, unending pain they feel. It doesn’t mean they aren’t Christians. It just means their suffering is incredibly profound. Eswine handles this wisely.

There are benefits that come from such sorrow. These are not reasons to choose depression, but the good God works out of our depression which we might not experience any other way. We are able to exhibit more empathy with those who suffer. We are also better able to understand our weakness and profound need for Christ in all things.

“Perhaps, nothing in life reminds us that we are not God, and that this earth is not heaven, like an indescribable distress that sometimes defies cause and had no immediate cure, or no cure at all.”

I would recommend Zack Eswine’s book to pastors and counselors. It is not technical but is written quite simply so the former can understand depression if they haven’t experienced, and helps the latter to communicate about it simply. It is also a good book for those who suffer. They will remember they are not alone, but always upheld by One who was acquainted with sorrows. He draws much from the words of Spurgeon, as well as William Cowper and others.  It is not an academic treatment, but a very heart-felt one.

P.S. If you leave a comment about how depression is demonic, I will delete it.

Read Full Post »

Considering the Long Story of the Long Way Home

We had a really great vacation with family over the holidays. They went up on the 17th and I followed behind on Christmas Day. There was plenty of time with family as 4 of CavWife’s 5 siblings were there for New Year’s and the annual White Elephant Gift exchange which gets more interesting as the kids get older and start participating. For the 2nd year in a row I got the Taylor ham- a NJ breakfast meat that I have grown to love.

One sibling built a pond this summer and this winter it was a skating pond. So our daughters learned how to skate. The boys were not so inclined, though the youngest enjoyed playing on the ice and with a hockey stick by the time we left. There was a guys night out as the 4 of us went out to Bar Vino for a few beers and appetizers. I like for us to get away and talk: sometimes serious and sometimes not.

There were a few snow storms, including Hercules who dumped over a foot of powder on us. As a result there was some sledding. On the downside, I didn’t have a good window of snow-less driving to visit my parents. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease this fall. Since I haven’t driven in snow much in the last 20 years I really didn’t want to get stuck in the mountains of VT in a snow storm. Another factor was the older CavGirl’s birthday and our 12th anniversary. Not really the days I want to be away from family to visit my parents.

Since we had an early flight home, my in-laws used some of their points to get us a hotel room for the night before we left. Sunday night, after one last get together and skate party the snow turned to rain as the temperatures soared. Monday was the great meltdown before the temperatures plummeted as a result of the arctic blast that crippled the country. It was slippery near the house but after we got off the hill the roads were much better. The only problem was our rear tire. While loading the Envoy I realized the tire was nearly flat. Usually my father-in-law is all over these things. This winter I was the one to catch 3 really low tires. The other 2 were on our lunch trip to Glens Falls. Up there in the mountains, there are no gas stations right around the corner. I thought I could get to Warrensburg and inflate the tire. The last 100 yards or so I could hear the thump-thump-thump because it had moved past low to officially flat. I filled it and off we were to meet our in-laws in Albany for dinner and they would drive both vehicles back to their home.

While driving we learned that our friend who was going to pick us up had his own flight home canceled and was re-booked to arrive home Wednesday. He’d be stranded in Dallas. So we left a message with another friend to see if they could pick us up.

I made a big mistake though. There was no sun on the way to Warrensburg so I kept my sun glasses in my briefcase. By the time we got to Glens Falls the sun was relentlessly beating into my right eye as we drove south to Albany. As we drew closer a migraine began to set in. I felt pretty lousy. It was also much colder in Albany as we unloaded the Envoy at the hotel.

We heard from our friend that she was willing to pick us up, but the other friend had gotten a flight from Dallas to Phoenix so he would be home in time to pick us up. He would have to go to the airport anyway since his bags were going to Tucson.

CavWife had inadvertently started the movie for the kids that we rented from iTunes. It was now going to expire the next morning before we got on the flight. So the kids started to watch Despicable Me 2 while I napped. Around 4:30 we left to meet with my in-laws for dinner at Moe’s. We didn’t want to eat too late since we didn’t want the roads to freeze on their way home. We love Moe’s and wish there was one in Tucson. CavWife got her usual John Coctostan, while I got the Home Wrecker which I re-dubbed the Hotel Wrecker. Then it was time for good byes in the cold.

The kids were going to shower before they finished the movie. Still feeling the effects of the migraine, I sat in front of the TV. That was when two things happened.

Read Full Post »

Considering the Jersey Shore

This was my first trip to the Jersey Shore.  I’ve enjoyed other parts of New Jersey, and endured other parts.  But I’ve never been to the shore.  One of CavWife’s sisters worked there for a few summers.  For nearly a decade, a large part of her family has been going to the shore after school gets out but before the seasonal rates increase, meaning before July 4th weekend.

Don’t think about a bunch of Guidos.  Spring Lake is nothing like that.  Spring Lake is upscale- very upscale.  Lots of Victorian homes, bed and breakfasts, and a few hotels.  We stayed in one of those hotels- The Breakers on the Beach.  We were late additions to the vacation plans, and we got the last room available: the penthouse.  Well, that’s what we called it.  The elevator when to the 4th floor, but we were on the 6th (though there was no 5th- I don’t understand either).  I expected some more living space but it was about the same, though the bathroom was larger.  But the views…. we had better, panoramic views.  We also had a gas fireplace.

Our Room

What we didn’t have was 2 beds, or a suite style room.  There was a fold-out sleep sofa.  This was to be CavBoy’s bed.  Initially we were going to have CavGirl go to sleep and then move her to the sleep sofa.  But it just didn’t work out that way as he did his usual sprawl across the bed.  This put the rest of us on the king size bed.  Somehow I was in the middle.  As a result, I spent 2 nights getting whacked and kicked by my daughter.  The pillows were huge and fluffy, quite the opposite of the pillows from the night before.  Almost everyone who used them woke up with a sore neck.  In the middle of the 2nd night, I cast mine onto the floor and slept pillow-less.

Our entire entourage was 24 people in 6 different rooms.  Lots of kids.  But most of the other guests were in the same boat so we didn’t drive too many people at the hotel crazy.  You were not supposed to wear beach attire in the lobby since they had a relatively upscale restaurant there.  We had to come and go through the basement to either the beach or the pool area.  This was the first time I ever needed a beach pass.  The adults had little pins to prove you had beach access.  If you didn’t have one, you could buy a wrist band for $8/day to have access to the beach.  Lots of rules, but the beach was pretty clean and well kept.  You could see the life guards training as they prepared for the summer rush that was about to hit them.  They got plenty of work with the whistle as people would drift too close to the breakers.  If those waves pushed you against the rocks, they would do serious damage.

The boardwalk was initially built by the WPA in 1937, stretching for a good distance for all those interested in walking or jogging.  It was very beautiful.  I hadn’t heard the sound of the surf for over a year.  It was a welcome sound- relaxing and peaceful.  After getting on the beach- after spending a long time lathering up- I took a good long walk on the beach thinking about ministry, ambition and other matters.  No iPod- does that surprise you?  But I didn’t want lots of sand to muck it up.

I tried to get into the water.  It was like a liquid ice flow.  I’ve been spoiled by that Gulf Coast water.  This was like Gulf Coast circa February.  Cold, reason I left New England cold.  Body parts retreating in agony cold.  And there was something strange in the water.  Tiny jellyfish.  No one warned me about this.  Thankfully they didn’t sting.  They just got all over you, stuck to you like … jelly.  Waiting to die and give you an unpleasant odor.  Yeah, not exciting.

By late afternoon, as the sun started to work its way through the sun block I made my way to the pool, and some shade, with the kids.  I had read some more of The Original Curse and talked with numerous people from the entourage.  CavSon was having a ball in the kiddie pool, which used to be hot tub the overly friendly lady in the yellow dress told me.  I soaked my feet as CavSon refused to talk to her daughter who inexplicably had one of those inflatable ducks kids float in- in the kiddie pool.  Where is CavWife to run interference.  Then again, why would this person be interested in me.  I’m feeling less than attractive with a few extra pounds around the middle covered by my t-shirt.  But I’m told my legs are still sexy.  Maybe it was those legs.  Maybe it was just wishful thinking since I’m feeling oh so unattractive.

Then I notice the kiddie pool seems to be filled with jelly fish from the 50 kids who have been there earlier in the day.  I’m kinda grossed out.  I want to leave, ASAP.  But CavSon is having too much fun.  And he’s NOT going into the big pool.  CavGirl is trying to remember her swimming lessons, but needs dad to help her.  So off I go to help her, having to remove my shirt and feeling awkward and gross.  At some point I became my father, minus the powerful forearms, and I’m not liking it.

Read Full Post »