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I decided to read Democracy in Black: How Race Still Enslaves the American Soul for a reason. We are still in a bad place with race relations in this country. As the white middle class father of two African-American children, I wanted to listen to how some African-Americans view the problem.

Like many people, I find discussions about race difficult. It is hard to build up the trust to speak honestly without judgment. It is awkward and difficult. So when I saw this book available for review I thought I’d get a copy, as if Eddie Glaude Jr. and I were sitting across the table from one another in a beer-less summit of sorts.

He is a professor of African-American studies at Princeton. He also teaches in the religion department.

There are many good things about this book. He tells it like he honestly sees it (which means it can be some unpleasant, painful truth). Politically, he doesn’t portray Democrats as perfect, or even President Obama, not Republicans as all evil (though he disagrees strongly with many policies). We will get to that later.

The strength of the book, for me, was chapters 2-4. He attempts to get to the heart of the long-term, on-going race issues in this nation. This has to do with the value gap, racial habits and white fear. From the beginning this nation has valued blacks less than whites. The end of slavery hasn’t ended it. The end of Jim Crow laws hasn’t ended it. It is a matter of the heart that is worked out in society. I think some of his examples are flawed. For instance, on page 31 he addresses the diseases that kill blacks at a higher rate than whites. But heart disease, cancer and AIDS get plenty of press and research money. It isn’t like these diseases are ignored because they kill blacks. Unfortunately he doesn’t bring up abortion which kills a disproportionate number of black babies, but is consistently protected by the white liberal establishment. But I agree with him that there is a value gap. Generally speaking, black lives don’t seem to matter as much in our society. The rates of incarcerated blacks is not just about poverty and crime, but also a flawed criminal justice system.

His discussion of disremembering is particularly helpful. This is the collective memory of a society which leaves out some of the ugly realities of our history or particular events. We do this, as a culture, to think the best about ourselves. He doesn’t get to its root in pride, but this is something not often discussed.

“When we disremember an event, an egregious moment in the past, we shape how we live in the present. … Disremembering is active forgetting. … What we put in and leave out of our stories tells us something about who we are.”

As a part of this, even when a challenging aspect of our past is brought us, we tend to objectify it. Those people are bad, but we rarely, if ever, think “I could do that too. If I were there I may very well have been one of the perpetrators.”

“Rather, inequality comes from the habits we exercise daily- habits that aren’t revealed in racial slurs and blatant acts of discrimination, but in the choices we make and the lives we live, even when those choices and lives seem to have little to do with race”

The little white boy across the street from him learned on day one that he was not supposed to play with “niggers” (his word, not mine). We all pick up unspoken ideas about race. “Racial habits are formed by the outcomes we see in the world rather than by the complex processes that produced those outcomes.” With so much poverty in the African-American community, many assume that they are lazy. He talks about “opportunity hoarding” in which a majority culture tends to keep the good stuff. We are often blind to the “way social networks reproduce inequality: white individuals benefit from being part of white social groups.” He talks about how we often get jobs through social networks, but think we “earn it.” Of the 14 jobs I’ve had over the years (at times working more than one) all but 2 were the result of knowing someone. When we consider it, that is astounding. This points to the need for internships for minorities so they can develop a social network AND the skills to get better jobs (think the NFL which has the Rooney Rule for minorities and women but doesn’t actively recruit them for lower tier positions so they can gain skills and connections).

One of those habits we pick up is that of masking, particularly how we feel about racial matters. We don’t want to talk honestly about race at Starbucks, or anywhere else. Blacks are afraid of being labeled the angry black man, and whites are afraid of being labeled a clueless racist. Additionally, we participate in the racial theater led by prominent civil rights leaders, and even our President. A theater that doesn’t actually resolve anything, but seems to just keep picking at the wounds.

“White fear is the general frame of mind that black people are dangerous, not only to white individuals because they are prone to criminal behavior, but to the overall well-being of our society.”

White fear is a political fear, and an economic fear. I recall as a young person being afraid of losing out due to affirmative action and minority scholarships (which I hope and pray my kids get!). It is largely about self-interest. Those in the lower economic or social ladders tend to fear those above, and those in the middle and higher tend to fear those below supplanting them. This has been common in our culture with new immigrants (Italians, Polish etc), but African-Americans have persistently been part of that perceived threat while other groups have moved up the ladder and began to share in white fear. Political fear “takes fears based in narrow concerns and gives them a more generalized fear.”

In addition to the Great Black Depression (the recession hit black communities far harder than white ones), we’ve seen the dissolution of the black social structures that have enabled black people to think and grow in relative safety (black churches, colleges, press etc.). In some ways they are losing their voice.

His chapter on President Obama and the Black Liberals is a good history of black political thought and groups in America. He discusses the shifts, and failures. Ultimately they have capitulated to white supremacy and the lie of “color-blindness”. It is the idea that if we just get the right person in power the plight of the African-American community will end. The liberal politician becomes a messiah figure. Don’t worry, white conservatives (and liberals) do this too. He notes the failure to hold politicians accountable as part of the problem (this goes far beyond black democratic life).

“The whole business of black politics becomes the political project of black liberals, with their latent desire for the disappearance of black America. Looks like we have been accomplices in our own demise after all.”

While this book was very helpful for me, I saw some fundamental problems as well. In his book Bloodlines, John Piper notes that for a minority culture everything is seen as a race issue, while for a majority culture nothing is seen as a race issue. The truth, obviously, is somewhere in the middle. There are things that Glaude sees as race issues, or solely as race issues, which may not be. His thinking is reductionistic at times. One example is voter ID laws. He sees this as an attempt to suppress the black vote. My own approval of voter ID laws has to do with addressing voter fraud (but I’d be what he calls a right wing extremist). I see room for compromise in how the laws are written so that the black vote is not suppressed (free gov’t IDs for people on welfare for instance). I don’t want to exclude any citizens from voting (black, Asian, Hispanic, Democrat, Independent etc.). I do want to prevent people from voting more than once, and from non-citizens from exercising the rights of citizens.

His solutions don’t seem compelling to me, though at times I am also tempted to vote “none of the above” too. As someone who teaches religion, I’d hope he would bring some theology into play. No, I’m not talking simply about forgiveness. For instance, the answer to the value gap is the imago dei. He seems to have no objective reason for our equality, a problem expressed in the existential ethics of Nazi Germany, Stalinist Russia and other places. It is not simply a white/black thing but one that plagues every culture.

I do agree we need to have some difficult, honest conversations. We have to stop masking, but this can only happen in an atmosphere of overall acceptance. The value gap stands in the way of that, as does white fear. I see little hope of actually moving forward without the gospel which affirms the dignity (imago dei) and depravity (we all sin) of each person, while providing acceptance thru justification by faith, and power to put to death the misdeeds of the old man in Adam (like racism) through the power of the Spirit because our minds are being renewed ( we see where our sin is, and what righteousness is).

All this does mean we have to build relationships with people different from ourselves: ethnically, economically, religiously. As we experience them as real people with real feelings, strengths and weaknesses we can move forward. But if we remain in our peer groups, behind the walls of fear, and differing values, nothing will change. Nothing will change if white people think they have to fix is all and “save” African-Americans. They needed to be invested with power, not simply allowed to share the same space.

This was a very helpful and insightful book despite its flaws. It is a book I’d recommend to others to help better understand the history of race relations and politics in this country. While I’ll disagree with him on a number of points, I’m better for reading it. It would be nice to sit across from a table from him, over beer, even if we raise our voices at times.

(I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purposes of review.)

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Yes, we’ve been inundated with information and reports about Deflategate since the day after the AFC Championship game. Many or most people jumped to rapid conclusions, often in accordance with their team loyalties. Patriots’ fans have by and large defended Tom Brady. The rest of the universe seemed to pile on because obviously every Patriot is a cheater. And only Patriots it would seem.

17 The one who states his case first seems right,
    until the other comes and examines him. Proverbs 18

I’ve talked with some people and what is clear is that people’s presuppositions control how they view the evidence.

What is also clear to me is that the NFL has largely controlled the PR/media war on this issue. This is because they had and controlled information (thankfully there is a growing number of sports and legal writers around the country beginning to question the NFL and its narrative). Sadly this has included leaking false information, and knowingly giving the Patriots false information that prejudiced the public and was intended to intimidate the Patriots and Tom Brady. The Commish seems to have forgotten that the Code of Conduct applies to all NFL personnel, including his office. As the recently released e-mails reveal, the General Counsel of the NFL refused to correct information that unduly tarnished the reputation of a member club. As a result this has the feel of Kafka’s existential novel The Trial with Brady cast as the clueless accused man who dies but never knows the charges against him.

This “scandal” never should have gotten to this point. It should have been treated as an equipment violation and a fine in keeping with the rules. Done. It also should have prompted the NFL to improve their procedures (or more truthfully to actually have policies and procedures).  One thing the released testimony reveals is that they, like Brady, really didn’t care much about PSI, and they only selectively care about it now (they didn’t ask any questions of Adrian Rogers).

10 Unequal weights and unequal measures
    are both alike an abomination to the Lord. Proverbs 20

Let’s looks at the testimony.

Brady

I think generally Brady comes off well. He is consistent in denying any knowledge or intent. The one thing that really doesn’t look good is the phone. Not so much that he had it “destroyed” (which is never really defined). The timing looks bad. The fact that he was able to produce an earlier phone looks bad. BUT, they have the logs of texts and emails from that phone. We don’t have the content, but we would have the corresponding side of the pertinent conversations from Jasremski (a fact seemingly overlooked by just about everyone wanting to string Brady up). Brady was genuinely surprised when he learned of the matter during his weekly interview with WEEI. Yes, he subsequently was in contact with Jastremski. This is for two reasons, as Brady related, which are not as nefarious as the haters want to make them. First, they were going to the Super Bowl! This was the first time that Jastremski had this position when the Patriots have gone to the Super Bowl (he has worked for them for about 12 years in other positions). The Super Bowl is a whole different enchilada. You have to prepare about 100 new balls (because the league wants to auction them off). Additionally, Brady wants to see if he is distracted by the news as they head into the biggest game in years. There is no need to import evil intentions here, unless you are already biased.

Brady did not seem to care about PSI until the Jets game when they were over-inflated by the refs (this is not the scandal you are looking for…). The NFL simply refuses to accept his repeated assertion that after that game he insisted they be at 12.5 in accordance with the rules. They aren’t the only ones as I’ve interacted with people who ignore this in the Wells’ Report as assume this means he REALLY wants them lower (biased much?).

By the way, now some of what Brady feared by giving them the phone and/or records has happened, as it did in the case of Jastremski and McNally. Irrelevant emails have been released that make him look bad. That is the kind of stuff ordinary people have to hide on their phones- snarky comments about others. In this case some comments about Peyton Manning.

Edward Snyder

He is a statistician, not a scientist. He purpose was not to question the science of Exponent, but the process of Exponent. They did have a flawed process in their experiments to attempt to replicate the events to see if the ideal gas law fully explains the deflation of the ball. They did not include time, particularly time back in the officials room. The longer they would be there, the less deflation would be registered (which explains why the Colts’ balls lost less). Since their process was flawed, their findings are not reliable. I think he’s right. This case assumes tampering with the balls, but the deflation seems to be within expectations (depending on the gauge used- more on that in a moment). The NFL has disregarded the truly independent reports that state this and seems to double down on Exponent unwisely and unfairly.

Troy Vincent

Troy’s testimony makes him, and the league office, look utterly incompetent and corrupt. What becomes clear is there was no process in place, period. No pregame recordings and notice of the the gauge used. There was not process for recording the results at halftime, and confusion about gauges. Vincent has NO explanation for why Gardi used incorrect information when contacting the Patriots about the investigation. Not one ball registered at the exceedingly low level mentioned. Kessler had him but didn’t press about whether he saw it and sought to correct it. However, it would seem like such a notice would be given to superiors and Vincent should have gotten a copy. If not, how incompetent are these people? This could explain the Ray Rice tape fiasco (cover-up? Goodell handed in his league owned phone, but not his personal phone in that investigation. Hmmmm.)

In discussing the information conveyed to the Patriots about the Colts’ balls, it is clear that the NFL is quite comfortable with using the results of one gauge to put the Colts in a good light, and the other to put the Patriots in a bad light. That is corruption, people. That is using two different standards. Additionally, they did not take weather conditions into consideration (to be fair the rules as stated make no mention of this reality either).

16 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Exodus 20

Vincent also looks bad for basing his recommendations on the Wells’ Report which had been edited by Pash. It was not based on the full testimony of all parties involved. Once again, an improper process on the part of the league officials.

Kessler also brought to light that in the past “integrity of the game” issues were not concerning players but team employees. This would be a change in policy without notice to players. Once again, unfair procedure.

I will give Vincent the benefit of the doubt, that he misunderstood the question about when he became aware of the situation. What many people are thinking about is the memo from the Colts. The Ravens denied any responsibility in warning the Colts about “deflated balls”. Technically they are right. However, their kicking consultant Randy Brown did contact Colts coach Pagano (who used to work for the Ravens) about kicking balls being rotated in properly. They did contact them and about balls. But the Colts’ memo alleges that the Patriots have been known to deflate balls. There is question about how they realized the ball was allegedly deflated. The player who intercepted the pass denies noticing or saying anything. Which means the Colts equipment guy had a gauge and tested it. All questionable, but not addressed. Unfortunately.

The Allegedly Independent Ted Wells

Nash invoked client-attorney privilege when Wells was asked about Pash’s role in the final product. So, was he independent or an attorney hired by the league? Wells then testified he was hired as an attorney with the NFL as his client. Reisner, who represented the league in cross examining Brady, wrote the first draft of the Wells’ Report. Wells and the NFL have therefore consistently misrepresented this.

Kessler gets him to admit that he interprets comments regarding the Jets game and over-inflated balls to refer to deflating. Just how does that work? This is the whole problem- Wells (and those biased people) take these comments in the worst light which is actually contrary to what they actually mean. How can we have reasonable discussions when we do this?

A faithful witness does not lie,
    but a false witness breathes out lies. Proverbs 14

He also takes an email from McNally to Panda where McNally says the balls should have been 13 psi instead of 16 (referring to the Jets game) and then Jastremski and gets Wells to admit they were being truthful. So, where is the scheme? He admits they wanted them within the league-mandated range.

He also admitted there was no data regarding time and temperature. How then, can there be any actual evidence that someone deflated the balls. It is a supposition based on total conjecture that cost the Patriots $1 million and a 1st round pick, and may cost Brady 4 games but certainly cost him his reputation. Nice….

He presents Anderson as utterly trustworthy and reliable. Anderson says he used the logo gauge, but could be mistaken. Okay. That means we can’t be sure which gauge was used. But Wells decides Anderson was mistaken, and goes with the gauge that produced the lower readings. Reasonable, right? No, it isn’t. Perhaps I’m an idiot but I can’t understand the rationale he, and Exponent, used to claim with certainty that the non-Logo gauge was used.

He also admitted that he didn’t find Brady credible because of the phone, a phone he legally didn’t have to provide. (Reminder, Goodell never provided HIS personal phone in the Ray Rice investigation but didn’t consider that refusal to cooperate and actions detrimental to the league.) A phone his counsel advised him not to provide. A phone his union advised him not to provide. A phone which if provided would most likely have meant the release of lots of irrelevant and damaging information. Failing to exercise rights means a lack of credibility. So much for the presumption of innocence. Wells basically rejected everyone’s testimony, even the security guard who said that McNally brought the balls to the field, alone, about half the time (contrary to Mr. Anderson’s claim).

Despite there being leaks, and statements made by league officials that may indicate prejudice, Wells did not investigate anyone but Brady and Patriots’ personnel. No one else’s texts or emails. This despite the request of the Patriots’ organization. A truly independent investigator would have investigated league involvement and missteps in this process. Nothing about what happened after the league received the pre-game report from the Colts complaining about balls.

For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13

Wells admits that the league didn’t measure the Patriots’ balls after the game to see if there were any changes. This may have shown the deflation was naturally occurring and not “man-made.”

He admits that Gostkowski refused to provide his phone. But that was no big deal since they decided he wasn’t central to the investigation. No accusation of lack of cooperation.

The NFL called 3 different people from Exponent for some highly technical testimony in which they basically say they are the only ones that got the testing right, and it proves natural causes alone are not responsible. They did admit that there were too many variables to replicate in tests. Therefore the results are questionable and there is sufficient doubt, or should be . Goodell focuses, in his judgment on the phone.and suddenly seems to ignore the “science.” The bottom line is that just like global warming or any other scientific question, there are legitimate differences of opinion instead of rock solid veracity.

Jastremski & McNally

Didn’t testify. Not sure why, meaning I can’t recall who didn’t want them testifying. Since their testimony was not present in the Wells’ Report it probably is the league, not the NFLPA.

Mr. Anderson

The full-time dentist and part-time official didn’t testify. As a result there was no opportunity to discover more about normal policies and practices. For instance, do they listen to the ball guy about QB requests within the legal boundaries or not. If I’m the NFLPA I’m calling them. Did the league block this too?

Roger “the Dodger” Goodell

He didn’t testify. But he asked some questions. Some of them sound like he wasn’t really paying attention. The reality is that this makes the Commish look BAD. We get to see how he statements (and other NFL statements) have manipulated and withheld testimony to support judgments. In other words- they lied. Repeatedly. These transcripts reveal that. And they manipulated testimony to make Brady look bad, to look guilty.

If you look at the transcripts you will see that after break Kessler wants transparency. He wants them released. The NFL did NOT want them released in any way, shape or form. Why? Because they can no longer control the flow of information and therefore manipulate the outcome and cover up the pattern of deceit and corruption.

16 There are six things that the Lord hates,
    seven that are an abomination to him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
    and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked plans,
    feet that make haste to run to evil,
19 a false witness who breathes out lies,
    and one who sows discord among brothers. Proverbs 6

It may not matter. Many people’s minds were won by the fallacious and malicious PR campaign by the NFL. No one looks good in this mess: Brady, the league, Goodell, the Colts and Ravens, Chris Mortensen … Nobody.

I’m not saying this proves Brady didn’t do anything, or that McNally did nothing (he may have acted on the demand of Brady to circumvent officials who ignore the request). But the supposedly “circumstantial” evidence begins to evaporate. There is evidence of wrong-doing on the part of the NFL. Will people ignore that? Will they shift their outrage to the people who we know who did wrong? Probably not. And the sad part is this destroyed a man’s reputation over what may have simply just an act of nature.

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Scribe: My Life in Sports is appropriately named. In many ways it is my life in viewing sports, but it is Bob Ryan’s life in reporting on sports. It is an interesting read, and much of the time I can hear him speaking in my head as I read the book. It is as if you are sitting and talking with him over a good meal as he shares stories and opines to his heart’s delight.

He begins with some personal background of his childhood in New Jersey. His love of sports came from his father Bill Ryan who not only loved sports by worked in the business side of sports. Bill was strongly extroverted and seemingly knew everybody. He would introduce his son to many professional athletes, particularly players from the baseball Giants and Phillies. One morning young Bob woke up to discover that his father had died in the middle of the night from complications after surgery.

As a boy he devoured sports’ magazines. In addition to playing sports Bob began to write about sports. As a result of his work for the Lawrence, the head football coach called him “The Scribe”, and it stuck.

Bob would attend Boston College. This was a precipitous time to be there. Celtics legend Bob Cousy was the basketball coach. Since he started writing for the Heights (his friend took over the sports department in Bob’s sophomore year), he got to know Cousy personally; a tie that would result in writing an autobiography with him. Ryan also got the job broadcasting the Eagles’ home games.  One night he had the honor of interviewing Red Auerbach at half time, which was the beginning of their professional and personal relationship.

This brings up one of the themes in this book. Bob was often in the right place, at the right time, and knew the right people. He is amazed at the opportunities he has had. He doesn’t think of this in the terms of providence, but I do. He probably couldn’t have accomplished most of what he did if he tried. He essentially stumbled into most of it. While some may perceive him as arrogant (probably because he is opinionated), he comes across here a humble due to how all this fell into his lap. In some ways he is the opposite of his father for whom nothing seemed to work out the way it should have.

You cannot love sports, attend college in Boston and not partake of the opportunities that present themselves. Back in the 60’s you could actually get affordable tickets to the Celtics and Red Sox games. He would be in the seats of Fenway for many of the milestone moments of the Impossible Dream season of 1967.

In June of 1968 he got a summer internship at the Boston Globe. Why? Because his roommate, who hired him for the Heights, turned it down. After his internship he spent four months in the Army Reserves. He was discharged, thankful for not having been sent to Vietnam, though did’t say why. But the Globe took him back as an office boy “with a verbal promise that I’d get the next opening on the staff.”

That was the job he held when the Red Sox fired manager Dick Williams at the end of the ’69 season. They dispatched the Kid to go get an interview. And so Bob Ryan sat in Williams’ kitchen getting an interview. At the right place, at the right time. His story would be on the front page of the evening edition.

That verbal promise became a reality when he was given the Celtics beat beginning with opening night for the 1969-70 season, just two years removed from college. And the rest, as they say, is history.

He has seen the NBA grow from an office with 8 people to one with nearly 600 in 2000-2001. When Bob started covering the Celtics he knew basketball, although his real love was baseball. He discovered he still had a LOT to learn about basketball. He spent lots of time talking with new Celtics coach and Hall of Fame player Tommy Heinsohn. In covering the Celtics he would be the guy Dave Cowens used to announce his retirement. Dave remains on of the most interesting people Bob ever had the privilege of covering. He would co-author a book with Larry Bird. He covered the Celtics during the majority of my lifetime. I have no idea how many of his articles I read, and we only got the Sunday Globe.

In 1977 Ryan asked off the Celtics beat. While he was away on vacation the legendary Peter Gammons left the Globe to write for SI. Bob was asked to cover the Red Sox. So for one season, Bob got to cover his favorite sport.

It was just one year because Gammons would return and the basketball job would call him back. He goes out of sequence to talk about the great John Havlicek. Havlicek was the first superstar the Ryan covered. He was the standard by which all others would be measured in terms of their personal conduct. He likes his book, Hondo: Celtic Man in Motion, but acknowledges it could have been better had he pushed a little harder. He felt more along for the ride than investigating the man.

In 1978 he returned to the Celtics beat to witness the Celtics once again ascend to greatness, and finally popularity. He includes the machinations that involved changing ownership and the drafting of Larry Joe Bird.

He covers his initially foray into TV with a show on the local ABC affiliate. He learned that working one that kind of show (more like personal interest stories with a sports twist) was not really his forte. He was really geared toward interacting with others- give and take- that focused on opinion. Those days would come in the form of the Sports Reporters and Around the Horn. He would become a fixture on those for ESPN.

Later, as a columnist, Ryan got to cover the Olympics. This become one of his favorite events to cover. His experiences are interesting and help provide some background on what it is like to attempt to cover something as massive as the Olympics. He talks about covering wrestler Aleksandr Karelin who was a legend. By the time the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney rolled around he had been unbeaten in 13 years, including previous Olympic matches. He was finally beaten by American Rulon Gardner. After his Olympic glory, Gardner was nearly killed when his snowmobile expedition was lost, and later when an airplane he was in crashed in a lake which meant an hour long swim in 45 degree water.

He devotes two chapters to Olympic basketball. He gives the history of the American professionals involvement and how it helped the rest of the world catch up to us. One of those chapters focuses on the Dream Team.  The second chapter is about the rest of the world learning from playing the best and leveling the playing field.

He moves from their to NCAA basketball. He loves the game, and will go to great lengths to see one. But he struggles with the concept of the “student-athlete”, seeing it as largely farcical. This leads into a chapter on one of the dominant personalities of college basketball: Bobby Knight. He has had an up and down relationship with Knight, yet is fascinated by the man.

As you may note, the subject matter is shifting from events to opinions about events. This goes full boil when he writes of the NFL in “I Can Hardly Believe It’s Legal.” Didn’t you expect opinions from such a man as Bob Ryan.

In the following chapter he reverts to baseball with the Red Sox finally winning the World Series. It is an incredibly short chapter focused on the Yankees’ series.

He then moves on to hockey, sharing with us all he thinks about the forgotten sport. The focus would be on some of the great Boston players: Orr, Bourque & Neely. He wraps it up with a short synopsis of the Bruins 2011 Stanley Cup run.

From there it was the 2008 Celtics. See, not in any chronological or logical order here. This is followed by a chapter about Chuck Daly of all people. Then he tackles the MJ vs. LeBron question.

Ryan then opines about golf and some of the more interesting moments he had in covering what I think is a very uninteresting game. This is followed, oddly enough, by a chapter on music.

The final real chapter is called No Complaints (the last is called Short Takes and is a series of just that). Here he notes that in some ways his life was the flip side of his father’s. In an interview his mother talked about his father. “He was always on the fringe of everything. He never received much credit and never made any money. I think being so close and so frustrated about what he knew he could do in sports and never receiving the chance might have led to his death.”

Ryan then says about himself: “My career is the flip side. I have been fortunate to be in the right place at the right time on many occasions.” His blessing ended up being ours as well. For there are few people with such a way with words to tell us these very human stories of success and failure. Bob Ryan had a love affair with sports and shared it with us. This book is akin to his final words about this love affair as he sorta, kinda retires. But it brings back so many memories of the events we watched on our tvs or heard on our radios. This is a picture not only of his life, but lives like mine that were spent in that New England air seemingly living and dying with our teams.

Once again, thanks Bob!

 

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In Seinfeld they talked about having “hand”, short for “the upper hand”, in a relationship. This is not to be confused with George’s short time as a hand model. They were addressing the reality that in relationships there is often one in control, the one who has the most power in the relationship.

This is not particular to human. My sister-in-law’s German short hair pointer Billy was “top dog” in their neighborhood for years. Those years have caught up to him, so he’s probably lost that status. The top dog is literally the dog on top because the dog on the bottom has submitted. He’s the boss.

Yesterday on the Shamrock Farms tour, I learned that cows have a pecking order. One is the boss and all the others know their place in line and follow along. This usually makes life much easier for the dairy farmer. Control the one cow, and you control the others in her group of 20.  When you have 10,000 cows, you can see why this matters.

Relationships are all about negotiating the balance of power.  Typically the one least concerned with the relationship has more power, “hand” and is in the driver’s seat. They have less need for the other person’s love, affection, admiration, attention etc. So they are less likely to be manipulated into doing the other person’s will.  We can see this in the recent labor negotiation in the NFL and NBA. The owners typically have the upper hand- they don’t need the sport to make a living. They have other revenue streams. The players on the other hand are dependent upon their paychecks.  Unions are only successful if a company has no other revenue streams. But in these cases, they don’t.

Edward Welch addresses this in his latest book, What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?.

“We prefer to be liked, loved, admired more than we want to like, love, or admire. That imbalance gives power in a relationship, and by power I mean the less invested person has less chance of being hurt. So goes the arithmetic of human relationships.”

There you have it. The person who wants out of a relationship usually has all the power, unless the other person poses a physical, emotional or financial danger.  Most of us cave in when the other person leaves. What are our options? Unless we are willing to blackmail, beat or rob them blind we recognize we can’t win and move on with life.

(more…)

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You’ve probably heard the story so much you want to bury your head in the sand.  “SpyGate” has been a buzz since September, plaguing the Patriots all through their run for a championship.  The day before the biggest game of the year, the SuperBowl and a chance to do the unthinkable- 19-0, the Herald released the story that took it to the next level.  They ran a story claiming the Patriots had taped the Rams final walk thru prior to defeating them in the SuperBowl.

You just can’t take something like that back.  I don’t know if it affected the team.  I know Tom Brady’s ankle and the Giants’ relentless pass rush were factors.  This … hard to say.  But slander and libel are still slander and libel.  Real journalists should make sure their facts check instead of settling for the sensational.  Tomase apparently didn’t, and neither did the editors.  Other journalists caught doing such things in high profile situations (and this was very high profile) have paid the price.  No word yet from the Herald beyond this short apology.

On Feb. 2, 2008, the Boston Herald reported that a member of the New England Patriots’ video staff taped the St. Louis Rams’ walkthrough on the day before Super Bowl XXXVI. While the Boston Herald based its Feb. 2, 2008, report on sources that it believed to be credible, we now know that this report was false, and that no tape of the walkthrough ever existed.

Prior to the publication of its Feb. 2, 2008, article, the Boston Herald neither possessed nor viewed a tape of the Rams’ walkthrough before Super Bowl XXXVI, nor did we speak to anyone who had. We should not have published the allegation in the absence of firmer verification.

The Boston Herald regrets the damage done to the team by publication of the allegation, and sincerely apologizes to its readers and to the New England Patriots’ owners, players, employees and fans for our error.

I’m not sure that cuts it.  In the Old Testament, if you falsely accused another of a crime you received the punishment they would have received.  You really can’t strip the Herald of a SuperBowl, but perhaps they should donate a few million to the NFL Players Association to help the retired players who don’t receive the benefits now enjoyed by players.  Perhaps Tomase and the editors need to spend endless hours answering questions how they could to something so heinous and reprehensible, and then be suspended for a year or two.  Perhaps Kraft and Belichik should be given the opportunity to investigate their lives and print up some tasty tidbits.  What do you think would be just in this matter?

Annoying Update: Senator Spector apparently has too much time on his hands.  The energy crisis and its ripple effect through the economy, the War on Terror, the Social Security crisis, our on-going infanticide (and I could keep going) don’t matter nearly as much to him as … football.  There are serious matters that affect the country and he’s concerned about football.  Someone please give him a reality check, like the daily paper or something.

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