Considering Sexual Chaos, Part 1

There has been lots of sex talk by pastors lately, and a lot of push back from other pastors and lay people. This whole thing has produced lots of heat, and not nearly as much light. Some of it simply reeks of sensationalism, like Ed Young’s bed on a roof stunt. Some of it has been pastors trying to pastor their people.

The push back is that pastors shouldn’t talk about sex, or write about sex. And I’ve seen quite a few people say Mark Driscoll is obsessed with sex. I don’t remember any push back to Lauren Winners’ book about sex, Real Sex. Any any number of Christian therapists’ books about sex. Perhaps it is that people just expect pastors to say “don’t do it”. They are uncomfortable with pastors, who speak to mixed audiences, talking about it positively beyond “it’s okay if you are married”. But there is no reason that pastors need to surrender this topic to counselors. But, let’s slow down.

In my advanced years, I’m less reactionary. So I’ve been pondering this. I want to explore a few things. First, why pastors need to talk about sex. Second, how should pastors talk about sex. And lastly, how pastors should help their people think thru sex. I’m anticipating three posts on this. I’m sure to offend someone. That is not my intention. I’m going to try to bring my experience as a pastor who does some counseling (yes, I have an MA in Counseling) to bear on this.

Why Pastors Need to Talk About Sex

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Sex & Supremacy: Piper #1

In an earlier Pensee, I quipped “Everyone has a sexual agenda.”  I initially spoke that soundbite while at lunch w/some other counseling students.  Everyone has an agenda for their sexuality- from feast to famine and everything in between.

As made as sexual beings, we will do SOMETHING with our sexuality.  Question is, what?

Piper’s thoughts in chapter 1 of Sex and the Supremacy of Christ are profound.  The first is that “Sexuality is designed by God as a way to know God more fully.”  The inverse is just as true- “all misuses of our sexuality distort the true knowledge of Christ” or “conceal the true knowledge of Christ.”

So, sex within its proper contexts as established by our Creator, and revealed in the Bible, is a way to know God more fully.  Marital love and faithfulness is a picture of what our relationship with Jesus is to be like- self-giving, self-forgetting, exclusive, face-to-face intimacy.  “God created us with sexual passion so that there would be language to describe what it means to cleave to him in love and what it means to turn away from him to others.”  This is not the only reason, but a big reason (filling earth with His image is another big reason).

Piper mentions only a few passages in which God does use the language of sexuality to describe what our relationship should be like, and unfortunately what it is often like.  Idolatry is described as prostitution, adultery etc.  Ray Ortlund Jr.’s excellent book God’s Unfaithful Wife explores this most vividly.  The Bible is shockingly vivid at times.  Yet, we also see the “mighty mercy of God” in how Jesus has paid the penalty for our whoring and prostitution (seen both in Ezekiel and Hosea).

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